Encouraging Words from Cary Schmidt » social networking

New Data about Kids and Media

caryschmidt — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 22:33:52 +0000

Several days ago the LA Times reported on a Kaiser Family Foundation study that showed kids are now averaging 53 hours per week in digital media, including TV, video games, cell phone, computer, etc. This does not include when kids are multitasking—perhaps using their phone and watching TV at the same time. When factoring those numbers, the usage jumps to about 75 hours per week—an astounding number.

The most interesting fact presented was the impact of parental oversight. When parents engage, set boundaries, and train their children, those same kids averaged 3 hours less per day—21 hours less in a week. That’s a pretty powerful difference.

God’s Word teaches us in Proverbs 29:15, “…a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” The clarion call to parents in the midst of such a media saturated society is “train the children!” So many parents literally leave their children to themselves, turning them over to a reckless onslaught of harmful content coming from multiple directions. Kids left to themselves just don’t know what to do with this.

Removing all devices from our children’s reach is not the answer—that merely condemns them to eventual temptation and perhaps failure. How we must engage as parents—set limits, teach values, provide oversight, manage accountability, and train our children how to guard their hearts. If you allow it, you must understand it, manage it, and train your children how to honorably and biblically use the tools of the day.

Are your kids spending the equivalent of a full-time job using media? If so, it’s time to re-engage as a parent! Someday they will thank you for expressing such courageous love.

You can read the full LA Times article here: LA Times Story—Young People Spend 7hrs. 38 minutes on TV, Video Games, and Computer.

Do Social Networks Change Behavior?

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:33:26 +0000

USAToday published an interesting article today about the impact of the internet and social networking. Here are a few of the statistics they shared:

How social-networking services affect the everyday behavior of millions of Americans:

An Ohio State University study links Facebook to lower grades. According to a survey of 219 students, published in April, those who said they use Facebook had grade-point averages of 3.0 to 3.5, and studied one to five hours a week.
Non-Facebook users had GPAs of 3.5 to 4.0 and studied 11 hours or more a week.
Nearly 80% of Facebook users said they believe it had no impact on their grades.
Corporate employees may fritter away nearly 1.5% of office productivity by using Facebook at work, according to a Nucleus Research study announced in July.
The University of Melbourne, however, says people who use the Internet for personal reasons at work are 9% more productive than those who don’t.
Fourteen states have passed measures to ban texting while driving.

Read the full article here: Real-time Web keeps social networkers connected – USATODAY.com.

Defeating the Media Monster-Part 2

Cary Schmidt — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:44:20 +0000

Media will eat your family alive unless you tell it not to!

In part one we uncovered five challenges that modern media brings into our lives and homes. To beat the challenges, tame this monster, and prepare your children to have discernment and wisdom, may I make the following suggestions:

1. Build healthy relationships committed to purity and godliness—this is the foundation. Teach your children biblical principles of holiness and honorable living, and engage their hearts with real and abundant time together.

2. Get on a media learning curve—Just like driving a car—first you learn, then you teach. The principle is the same with media. Simply—if you allow it, you must learn it. You can’t afford to have media outlets or gadgets in your home that you do not understand. For instance, you must know everything your child can do with his cell phone—and if you allow it, you must teach it as well (text messaging, etc.).

3. Train your children in the proper use of each media tool you allow—Again, like driving, you wouldn’t toss your sixteen-year-old the keys and say, “Go figure it out.” A learner’s permit requires that you ride along first, showing the way and correcting the mistakes. While this is annoying to the teen and harrowing to the parent—staying alive makes it ultimately “worth it.” Take the same approach to media. Get in the experience and teach and train along the way—correcting, instructing, and nurturing with biblical wisdom.

4. Set ground-rules, protected entry-points, and check points—teach your child the rules of the road, install filtering software, and grab that cell-phone and ipod periodically just to monitor how it’s being used. This is essential, and there is a wide variety of services (some for free) that help parents monitor their children as they use tools like email, instant messaging, online activity, cell-phone texts, etc. In addition to this take advantage of helpful resources like review sites that inform parents of the content of movies, TV shows, etc. Get informed and stay informed.

5. Be familiar with every form of media in your child’s life—trust nothing when it comes to media—not disney, not the family channel, and certainly not internet friends. Know what music they listen to, what books they read, what shows they watch, what people they follow, and what they post. Make no apology—for you cannot train up a child unless you are immersed in this world with them.

6. Provide clear and biblical boundaries and limitations—you may opt completely out of one form of media or another. You may restrict emails to a short list of people you know. You may limit access to only a few websites. You will definitely need to set time limits. I can’t answer all of the possible scenarios, but the Holy Spirit can guide you to set the right limits on the way your family uses these forms of media.

7. Provide healthy alternatives to media—help your kids stay in balance by practicing moderation (Philippians 4:5). Lead your children to read, play games, learn an instrument, play a sport, develop a hobby, or find interests that don’t involve screen-savers and tweets.

8. At times, just unplug on purpose—have times when media is just put away, turned off, unplugged, or even taken away. For instance, if you really want to get a feel for how powerful your child’s cell phone is, take it away for a few days and read the text messages that come in. If this creates world war three, then Houston, we have a problem. If your children can survive without these things and if they don’t mind you looking at their world of communications, that’s a good sign that they are learning appropriateness and moderation. If they freak out—then that’s a good sign you need to be a lot more involved in the “train up” stuff.

Media will eat your family alive unless you tell it not to. Parent, it is possible to tame the media and technological tools of our lives. Better yet, it is possible to use them for good and for God. I hope you desire, as I do, to train up the next generation to use media in a way that pleases the Lord and advances His purposes. Don’t let the media monster rampage through your home. Bring it into containment—tell it where to be, what to be, and how to be—and don’t ever back down, even for a second! God speed in your quest!

Note: Share your insight below and any ideas you might have in dealing with media challenges! Also, think of someone you know who could benefit from these thoughts and encourage them in this area!

Defeating the Media Monster—Part 1

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:11:21 +0000

Media will eat your family alive, unless you tell it not to!

I have a deep inner aversion to living things that crawl, creep, fly, or slither around and find their way into places they don’t belong. They bother me. They creep me out. I just want them dead as quickly as I can make it happen. It’s not really of fear, but of something that has more to do with dominance and my human right to “not be creeped out”! (After all, it’s in everybody’s basic rights—life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the freedom to be uncreeped!)

Not long ago, I had a bat in my office. Another time, a bird came flying in—yes, a BIRD—into my third-floor office! Shortly thereafter, a lizard showed up in a secretary’s office. And as you might imagine, these things not only hindered work flow, they significantly raised the threat level on the “creep-ometer.” They were nasty little living things that found their way into areas they didn’t belong. They disturbed and disrupted, and they had to be dealt with. And in each case—they were. (The sentence was “death by broomstick.”)

In much the same way, only on a spiritual level, the media of our society is constantly and forever trying to creep its way into places it doesn’t belong—in our hearts and homes. The tools of that media come in a wide variety—from TVs, to computers, to video game consoles, to cell phones, to iPods, to social websites and dozens of other helpful and potentially enjoyable gadgets and toys. The message of that media depends upon our day to day choices—who we communicate with, what we listen to, what we post, what we watch or play, and who we follow or befriend. The media itself isn’t all bad and the tools of media are not intrinsically wicked—it’s what that media can become and the unrestrained messages it brings with it that poses great risk.

Simply put: media will eat your family alive unless you tell it not to. When unrestrained, media can be like little roving creatures looking for a new place to settle. Uncontained, it will creep and crawl its way into every possible area of your life, family, and relationships—threatening a lot of good stuff along the way. In our society, media is Satan’s primary tool of communication and destruction—in spite of the good that modern technology can bring.

So what do Christian families do with so many varieties of media threats? There are two extremes. The first is to completely ignore the threat, letting each family member have complete media freedom. In this case media becomes a raging monster rampaging through a home with an insatiable appetite for destroying relationships and addicting hearts to sin and vice. The second extreme is unprincipled abstinence—the decision to remove all media from our lives without explanation or biblical training. This approach results in our children eventually facing the media monster alone in their adult lives with no biblical foundation on which to stand. In the first extreme, media becomes dominant in the home and relationships die early. In the second, media waits patiently to ravage an unprepared life later.

In a multimedia age, it’s time that parents and children engage in the day to day process of understanding, discerning, taming, and containing the media beast. Proverbs 22:6 teaches us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The process of “training up” is a time-consuming, fully-engaged, active, and deliberate course of action. Yet, I find that few parents have intentionally determined to “train up” their children in defeating one of the greatest threats to their future spiritual well-being—mass media (including airwaves, music, internet, video games, cell-phones and all that comes with them.)

Some parents desire to “train up” but they feel overwhelmed or are not sure where to begin. Yet, the risk is too great not to jump on this beast and ride it into submission. Honestly, we’re all still learning and media is ever changing, but for the next page, let’s examine the big challenges media brings, and then some practical steps to defeating and taming this monster. There are five huge challenges that media brings into our homes:

First, the challenge of perversion—whether it’s a TV show, an inappropriate website, or a profane facebook posting, the media of our culture has given a loud and long voice to a massive amount of perversion. It’s difficult to even buy a gallon of milk without having to see and hear the filth of our world being broadcast or displayed. Even the conservative news outlets are shameless when it comes to advertising or stories having to do with sexual matters. This challenge threatens our purity, and God commands us to flee youthful lusts (Ephesians 4:29) and to be wise to that which is good and simple concerning evil (Romans 16:19).

Second, is the challenge of deception—the media of our culture is constantly heralding Satan’s lies about love, happiness, and life. Additionally, the internet gives someone a lot of opportunities to “be someone else” or to participate in gossip, slander, and harmful chat. The deception of anonymity has drawn many into second lives, inappropriate relationships, and deceptive communications. But God tells us in James 4:8 to cleanse our hands, purify our hearts from double-mindedness and draw nigh to God once again.

Third, is the challenge of obsession—emails, twitter, blogs, cell phones, video games, internet chat, forums, and a variety of other media tend to become dominant in our lives. Frankly, these mediums impact us in ways we don’t even fully understand yet. Science has only just begun to examine the power that these things can have over us and the developmental results over time. Practically speaking, in counseling, I’ve seen that these things can literally become obsessions—almost holding us hostage and causing us to disengage from real relationships. But in 1 Corinthians 6:12 God instructs us not to be “brought under the power of any”—speaking of things that may not be evil, but also may not be expedient (or helpful).

Fourth is the challenge of disconnection—media is so dominant in some families that it has completely over-run real family connections. A healthy marriage relationship or parent/child relationship requires a close heart connection—the product of time, eye contact, heart-to-heart conversation, frequent affection, and real-time interaction. Abundance of media literally kills time, robs focus, shortens attention span, and makes human relationships seem boring and shallow. But Ephesians 4:32 and 6:1-4 teaches us to develop loving, tenderhearted, nurturing relationships in our homes.

Fifth, is the challenge of emptiness—this is the result of the first four challenges. When media is allowed to “take over,” everyone in the family is familiar with everything in the world except each other, and that leaves the heart very, very empty and hungry. Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 1:17 that he gave his heart to know madness and folly and ultimately is was nothing but, “vexation of spirit.”

Stay tuned for part two of this post when we will examine eight practical steps we can take to protect ourselves and those we love!

Note: Please share your thoughts and insight regarding the challenges of media in today’s society, and consider someone else who might benefit from these posts and encourage them in this area!

New Research on Social Networking

Cary Schmidt — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:16:08 +0000

Both TIME magazine and the San Francisco Chronicle recently reported on some dangers surfacing behind the many hours that teens are spending in social networking. Here are a few quotes from the San Francisco Chronicle article that relayed the results of a poll of 1,000 teens and 1,000 parents:

“From behind their bedroom doors, more than 1 out of every 10 teenagers has posted a nude or seminude picture of themselves or others online—a “digital tattoo” that could haunt them for the rest of their lives.

A quarter of the young people polled had posted something they later regretted, made fun of others or created a false identity online.

While teens are spending more and more time on social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace—with 22 percent saying they check their sites more than 10 times a day—they don’t seem to be aware of the long-term personal havoc they could create with a click of a button.

And their parents generally have little idea about what their children are up to, the poll found.

[Social Networking] feels less personal; it’s easier to do mean things… It’s almost simulated behavior. You can be risky and do riskier things in a digital context.

Yet there can be enormous consequences: That alcohol-related post-prom picture? Someday an employer or college admission officer might come across it with a quick click on Google. Hitting delete to get rid of a questionable photo won’t help. The digital imprint never goes away and could be flitting across computer screens around the world.

Whether we like it or not, kids live in the 24/7 digital world… It affects virtually every aspect of their lives.

‘It’s a playground with no parental supervision,’ said Dr. Dimitri A. Christakis, George Adkins Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Washington, who found in a study released earlier this year that 54 percent of teens demonstrate risky behavior online.

[Among parents] there’s definitely a not-my-kid syndrome.

Technology doesn’t create new behaviors, it just may exploit them.”

Teen social networking by the numbers:

51 Percentage of teens who check their sites more than once a day.
22 Percentage who check their sites more than 10 times a day.
39 Percentage who have posted something they later regretted.
37 Percentage who have used the sites to make fun of other students.
25 Percentage who have created a profile with a false identity.
24 Percentage who have hacked into someone else’s social networking account.
13 Percentage who have posted nude or seminude pictures or videos of themselves or others online.

In a TIME magazine article entitled “What Facebook Users Share” recent studies point to lower grades as a common trait among people who use Facebook extensively. It’s not that Facebook would be the cause, but that extended time and use of social networking could impact attention span and other factors that influence grades and relationships.

The quote that most arrested my attention was from UCLA neuroscientist Gary Small:

“He warns of a decreased ability among devotees of social networks and other modern technology to read real-life facial expressions and understand the emotional context of subtle gestures. Young people are particularly at risk for these problems, he writes, because young minds tend to be the most sensitive, as well as the most exposed, to digital technology.”

The article warns of the tendency of teens to obsess over these technologies, giving too much time and influence to them. Amazingly, research continually reveals that parents have little knowledge of what their kids do online.

In the next week or so I will be posting two articles for parents and spiritual leaders related to controlling media—including social networking. May God give us wisdom to train up the next generation to be guarded and discerning in these areas!