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7 Myths of Single Life

By caryschmidt | January 19, 2010
Seven Myths of Single-Life
Myths abound in today’s culture—through urban legends, chain emails, speed-diets, and beyond! Thanks to snopes.com, it’s pretty easy to run an email, a story, or a bizarre event through a quick research test to find out if it’s true or not.
So—do you have a “snopes” for life? Has it occurred to you that life also has its myths and “urban legends.” The issue is, these myths have much greater consequences. And much like “snopes” we need to take the philosophies, assumptions, and teachings of our pop-culture and run them through the truth test—the Bible.
Here are seven popular myths of single-life—seven lies that many singles buy into. Let’s run them through the truth test and unmask them as frauds:
1. Happiness and love is found in a person and I must find that person. Many people fall for this lie. Their lives become an endless search for the right person to completely bring happiness to life. The problem is—no human being can fulfill the deepest desires of our hearts. That is reserved for God alone, through Jesus Christ. Psalm 16:11 teaches, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy;”
2. Freedom is about making decisions alone and doing my own thing—”I gotta be me…” This is a gross distortion of a biblical truth. Yes, God created you as an individual with many unique qualities—so in that sense, you do have to be you. But, God never intended for you to live independent of Him or outside of His purpose or structure for life. The greatest life is found when you are who God truly made you to be. In John 10:10 Jesus said, ” I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
3. There is a short-cut to success and fulfillment in life and I will find it. Many believe that there are quick ways to happiness and fulfillment in life, and so they fall for them—parties, illicit sex, drinking, drugs, etc. We all tend to want the path of least resistance and the quickest path to success. In truth, the best life is built one decision at a time on the strong foundation of biblical values and principle.
God taught in Joshua 1:8, that true success is a product of biblical principles in practice. Joshua 1:8″ This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
4. Responsibility and purpose in life can be indefinitely postponed. In the short term, a life free of responsibility and commitment seems like the way to go—but in the long term, it’s disastrous. We were designed by our Creator to have purpose, to embrace commitments, and to shoulder responsibilities that honor Him. God teaches that life comes with built in accountability and responsibility. Those who embrace this, always win. Romans 14:12, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”
5. Love is a mystical, magical, fleeting thing that has something to do with sex. God is love and God created sex, so who could possibly instruct us in this matter better than Him. Quite simply, true love is a choice, not an emotion. You do it, you don’t feel it. Warm and fuzzy emotions, as enjoyable as they are, are not and never will be love. And sex is only an expression of love when it’s done God’s way—within a committed marriage for life. Outside of that boundary, sex is harmful in every way to both parties. It does irreparable spiritual harm.
Here’s how God says it: 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”
6. As long as I’m not hurting anyone else, what I do doesn’t matter. This sounds great and becomes a great excuse for someone who purely lives for self. The problem is, it’s simply not true. No man is an island. We all influence somebody. We all have people in the future we will influence. And every decision you make today is countless repercussions for people around you and people in your future that you haven’t even met yet—like your kids! Think of it this way—have you become the bearer of some of your parents bad decisions? Probably so. And at the time, they too were thinking their decisions wouldn’t hurt anyone. But you know differently.
God commands us to live as examples to others, positively influencing them for right. 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”
7. Pleasure, possessions, and personal pursuits can ultimately fill the longing of my heart. God created pleasure. God gives us possessions. And God calls us to purposeful pursuits. But He is the source and the giver. When we forsake following God and pursue these other things, life begins to fall apart. Apart from God, More stuff merely means more problems! We’re called to worship God and use things. But so often we get it backwards. We worship things and use God.
1 Timothy 6:17, “Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;”
Are you falling for some of these myths? Begin today to align your life with God’s principles—beginning with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You can read more about having that relationship in another article in this magazine.
Build your life and future upon truth, not upon the myth and urban legends of popular philosophy. Opinions of men will fail, but God’s Word is always true!

tomatoes_protection

Myths abound in today’s culture—through urban legends, chain emails, speed-diets, and beyond! Thanks to snopes.com, it’s pretty easy to run an email, a story, or a bizarre event through a quick research test to find out if it’s true or not.

So—do you have a “snopes” for life? Has it occurred to you that life also has its myths and “urban legends.” The issue is, these myths have much greater consequences. And much like “snopes” we need to take the philosophies, assumptions, and teachings of our pop-culture and run them through the truth test—the Bible.

Here are seven popular myths of single-life—seven lies that many singles buy into. Let’s run them through the truth test and unmask them as frauds:

Read More »

Posted in ministry & outreach | Tagged biblical living, college and career, counseling, dating, sunday school | 4 Comments

My Day With Haylee

By caryschmidt | January 15, 2010

haylee

Note to Readers: Indulge me—if you’re not up for a syrupy “daddy story”—feel free to move on to something more interesting. I wouldn’t blame you. :)

Last Thursday I was privileged to spend the whole day with Haylee. Just for fun, I thought I’d share the memory. We call these days “Girls’ Day Out with Dad.”

It began with a discussion a day earlier on whether Mom could come with us. According to Haylee—absolutely not! This was her day with Dad—Mom would need to stay home! I laughed, Dana was incredulous, and Haylee had her way. This one would just be Haylee and Dad.

Read More »

Posted in family | Tagged family, humor | 3 Comments

New SL Podcast—By His Spirit

By caryschmidt | January 13, 2010

Podcast: Download

The January edition of the Spiritual Leadership Podcast has just posted!

Originally taught this past fall at our staff orientation, this lesson is entitled “By His Spirit.” In it, Pastor Chappell challenges you with what can be done if we will submit to the power of God.

The Spiritual Leadership podcast is a free resource from Striving Together Publications (a ministry of Lancaster Baptist Church and West Coast Baptist College).

You can subscribe to this podcast through iTunes and listen on your computer or iPod. You can also receive the complimentary outline with each lesson. Click here for more information about subscribing to the outline.

Enjoy the lesson as you begin this new year of ministry!

Posted in books and resources | Tagged leadership, local church, ministry, podcast | Leave a comment

My Only Sanctuary

By caryschmidt | January 13, 2010

cross

This past Sunday, my path intersected with a gracious man who has served the Lord in our church for many years. He’s been steadfast—even through much personal pain and many trials.

When asked “How are you doing today?” He promptly replied:

“I’d better be doing great! I’m at church! And this is my only sanctuary in life!”

With that, he moved on, not knowing how his words impacted me. “My only sanctuary in life.” Sanctuary means “A place of refuge or safety.” I was deeply challenged by his response. Here are a few thoughts that came to mind:

  1. How many people come to church every week looking for sanctuary! Do we provide it? Do we encourage, minister, and uplift them? Is the music, the message, and all of the ministry prepared in such a way that it becomes a sanctuary to all who come?
  2. Do I view church as my sanctuary? Do I value it, receive from it, and enter into God’s presence in that way? Or am I just going through the weekly motions and carrying out weekly duties?
  3. What a privilege we have to provide sanctuary to people who need it! Serving in the ministry sure is an awesome privilege and responsibility.
  4. Thank God that our church is a sanctuary. Because of a faithful pastor, a biblical vision, authoritative preaching, servant leadership, and a gracious church family—this man and many others like him can find sanctuary.

Ironically, that evening, in my Bible reading I came to Isaiah 40:1:

“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God.”

Posted in ministry & outreach | Tagged local church, ministry | Leave a comment

Survey for Reality-Parenting

By caryschmidt | January 4, 2010

father_son

Several weeks ago I shared a post called “Reality Parenting—Making the Grade.” This post is a follow-up.

A primary goal of every parent should be to model a right relationship with the Heavenly Father, and ultimately to see our children embrace that same relationship. Seeing a father or mother live in love with the Lord—happily submitted to His authority—provides a living picture of how a teen should live in submission to earthly parents and to their Heavenly Father.

One aspect of modeling this relationship is to accurately understand our own weaknesses as parents, and to deal biblically with them. Let’s face it, our kids know our weaknesses well—but they can see past them if they know we aren’t playing games spiritually.

Often, the wedge between kids and parents comes from duplicity in the parents. Few things wound our children more deeply than spiritual inconsistency. It’s a recipe for instant resentment.

Read More »

Posted in family | Tagged family, parenting, student ministry, teen life | Leave a comment

Top Ten Posts for 2009—Thank you!

By caryschmidt | December 31, 2009

happynewyear

About a year ago, I ramped up the development of this blog, not really sure what would happen. I want to be an encouragement to others, and I’m thankful that you would read and for the many who have responded with comments, emails, etc. Honestly, this blog has been a lot of fun—a needed diversion at times and a place to park thoughts that are compelling to my heart.

If you have been encouraged, equipped, or helped—to God be the glory. I enjoy the writing and the fellowship this has brought, and I thank the Lord for like-minded readers.

Looking back over the past 12 months, here are the ten posts that were read the most:

Read More »

Posted in featured | Tagged blog | 3 Comments

You Are What You Listen To (Part 2)

By caryschmidt | December 29, 2009

headphone

This article is part two. You can read part 1 here.

Music Influences Your Heart (Your Mind, Will, and Emotions)

Music, primarily harmonies, always communicates emotion. In many ways, music is emotion. This means it powerfully impacts your thoughts and decisions. You could say your music is the soundtrack of your life—it paints emotions, thoughts, meditations, moods, and ultimately helps determine the choices you make and the logic behind them.

Read More »

Posted in christian life | Tagged biblical living, music | 1 Comment

Christmas from a 4 Year Old!

By caryschmidt | December 24, 2009

A friend of mine who serves the Lord at the BBN Radio Network sent me this link to the Christmas story told by a four-year-old little girl. It blessed our family. It will captivate you from the first word! Merry Christmas!

This was recorded and is available on CD from Jeff Apthorp, Sound Amazing Studios. The little girl is Valerie Apthorp, Jeff’s daughter. She was four at the time and is now 18, preparing to be a missionary. Much thanks to Tim Young for sending this!

Posted in christian life | Tagged family, parenting | Leave a comment

7 Ideas for Your Personal Planner System

By caryschmidt | December 21, 2009

evernoteicons

This fourth and final post on an annual planner is just for ideas. Please contexualize this series properly—I’m certainly not the expert on this stuff. Like you, I just enjoy comparing notes with others and gleaning helpful ideas. Thank you for the positive feedback. If you’re coming in late to the series, previous articles are as follows:

  • Thoughts on Planning a New Year
  • Contents of a New Year Planner
  • More on Developing a New Year Planner

You might also find these articles helpful to this topic:

  • Three Huge Principles for Personal Productivity
  • Three More Huge Principles for Personal Productivity

Throughout this series, I’ve referred to a personal system—the tools you will use to manage information and remind yourself daily of the plans you have made. There are many helpful tools, especially for computer users, but here are the ones I find most helpful and how they are used. Perhaps you’ll find an idea you can use:

Read More »

Posted in productivity | Tagged leadership, media & tech, ministry, organization, productivity, technology, time management | 6 Comments

Implementing Your New Year Plan

By caryschmidt | December 19, 2009

crayons

The “final article” on the new year planner has become two. First—let’s discuss putting it into practice. In the next article—thoughts on developing an organizational system that works. (Click to read the first and second articles in this series.)

So you’ve spent several hours or days mapping out vision, goals, projects, events, calendar, details, and tasks—now what? Do you hit “save” and close the file, sending it into “Neverland?” Do you print it, bind it, and place it on your bookshelf to collect dust for the next twelve months? What brings the plan into a functioning reality? What will prevent it from merely becoming good intentions that grew older?

Without making it practical and practiced, building a planner means we’ve spent a lot of time accumulating a well-described wish or even a fantasy.

Not only is this final part of the process the most fun (at least for me), it is also what makes stuff happen. So let’s dive in:

Read More »

Posted in productivity | Tagged church staff, leadership, media & tech, ministry, organization, productivity, technology, time management | 4 Comments

More on Developing a New Year Planner

By caryschmidt | December 17, 2009

actionplan

Thank you for responding to the article on the contents of a new year planner! Many of you have emailed and asked for the sample planner mentioned at the end of the article. In finalizing my planner the past couple days, I’ve decided to do two more articles related to planning the new year. This one focuses on some general thoughts about the philosophy of a planner. As you assemble a plan, consider the following:

1. It should reflect a biblical philosophy of life and ministry—Behind your planner should be a very focused philosophy of ministry, and the planner should simply be a tool of making it a reality. For instance, our student ministry is highly personal, highly biblical, and highly integrated into our entire church program. It is not a stand-alone entity. Therefore our student ministry planner reflects one-on-one ministry, plenty of Bible teaching, and student involvement in the whole church program.

Read More »

Posted in productivity | Tagged church staff, ministry, organization, productivity, time management | 4 Comments

Christian Books for the Kindle

By caryschmidt | December 11, 2009

kindle

Do you have a Kindle? Good news! Striving Together Publications is committed to entering and supporting the digital publishing realm. We are now offering resources for the Kindle digital reader. I’ve been asked several times just today—hence this post. (We are working on the website announcement and links.)

Presently, you can find the following books (from Striving Together) on Amazon for the Kindle. This link shows you all of them at once.

A Glorious Church by Mike Gass
Church Still Works by Paul Chappell and Clayton Reed
Grace for Godly Living by Paul Chappell
Hook, Line, & Sinker by Cary Schmidt
Just Friends by Mike Ray and Cary Schmidt
Leaders Who Make a Difference by Paul Chappell
Life Quest by Cary Schmidt
Living on God’s Economy by Paul Chappell
Mentoring and Modeling by John Goetsch and Mark Rasmussen
Done by Cary Schmidt

The rest of the Striving Together Library will be available over the coming months, so “stay tuned”! Be sure to tell someone else that these resources are available.

Posted in books and resources | Tagged book review, books, striving together, technology | 2 Comments

Contents of a New Year Planner

By caryschmidt | December 10, 2009

planning

‘Tis the season for new year planning! In support of the recent Spiritual Leadership Podcast on annual planning, I thought it would be appropriate to dissect a ministry planner and give an inside glimpse of what’s included. Perhaps these thoughts will equip you in planning and preparing for a great new year of ministry. So, here goes—the contents of my ministry planner:

1. Last Year in Review—this part is a simple summary of the high points and great moments of the last year of ministry. This always provokes deep gratitude for what God has done, and challenges in areas that need improvement for the next year.

2. Personal Life Section—this section covers family and personal items like walking with the Lord, reading, studying, preparing for writing and teaching/preaching, family nights, vacation, date nights, and get-aways with my wife.

Read More »

Posted in productivity | Tagged leadership, ministry, organization, productivity, time management | 4 Comments

SL Podcast: Developing an Annual Plan

By caryschmidt | December 8, 2009

Podcast: Download

The December edition of the Spiritual Leadership Podcast has just posted!

Originally taught ten years ago, this lesson is entitled “Developing an Annual Plan.” In this session, Pastor Chappell shares thoughts on creating a new year plan for your life and ministry. This is one of the most popular spiritual leadership lessons Dr. Chappell has ever taught, so don’t miss it!

The Spiritual Leadership podcast is a free resource from Striving Together Publications (a ministry of Lancaster Baptist Church and West Coast Baptist College).

You can subscribe to this podcast through iTunes and listen on your computer or iPod. You can also receive the complimentary outline with each lesson. Click here for more information about subscribing to the outline.

Enjoy the lesson as you prepare for a new year of ministry!

Posted in leadership | Tagged leadership, organization, podcast, productivity, time management | 2 Comments

You Are What You Listen To (Part 1)

By caryschmidt | December 8, 2009

headphone

You’ve heard the statement “you are what you eat.” And, physically this is true—your body and health are merely products of what you digest. But rarely do we make the same connection to our spiritual lives. In other words, “you are what you listen to.”

Have you ever considered that your musical listening habits have a direct correlation to your spiritual condition and direction in life? Music is a powerful influence that helps to create a direction and then feeds that direction at the same time. It shapes emotions and attitudes that become desires and decisions, which ultimately become destiny.

In this article I’d like to briefly explore the principles that make music such a powerful force in our lives, and then challenge you to apply them to your own listening choices.

Read More »

Posted in christian life | Tagged biblical living, ministry, music, teaching | 2 Comments
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