Encouraging Words from Cary Schmidt

What Teens Ask About Their Parents

caryschmidt — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 04:00:11 +0000

A couple times a year we host an anonymous question and answer time for teenagers. They respond well. You can read about these in past posts: Getting Teens to Air Their Questions and The Top 15 Questions Christian Teens Ask. We did this Q&A time again recently, and I was surprised how many questions were submitted about parents. Bear in mind, these were anonymous. My heart was stirred and challenged, both as a parent and a pastor, as I read these questions:

1. What do you do when your parents fight a lot and your mom has constant negative things to say about your dad?

2. My mom & dad have been going through a tough time. My dad really hurt my mom, and she is bitter and often “vents” to me. I’m not really sure how to take it or how to feel about it.

3. I turned 18, but my parents are reluctant to treat me like an adult. I still honor and obey them, but they still treat me like I’m 12. What should I do?

4. I’m bitter with my parents, and I want to make it better… I just don’t know how to.

5. How do I live for God with the ungodly ways of my parents who are not Christians?

6. If our parents have trouble in a certain area in life, are we likely to fail in this area as well? How do we stop from doing the stuff our parents do if their example is always before us and effects how we turn out?

7. How do you deal with a dad/parents who want you to be just like them? How do you live up to their high expectations?

8. Is a family problem partly your fault?

9. How do I deal with the fact that my parents always make an assumption and believe their assumption, which is a lie, and don’t let me tell them the truth. When I do tell the truth, they don’t believe me.

10. My parents have conflicting standards, and I’m a little confused as to where to put my standards. Should I find a median? (one is high, one is low.. not too low, but definitely not strict)

11. My mother is in an abusive relationship, what should I do?

Think about that list. It’s convicting if your a parent. It’s challenging if you serve in family ministry. In addition to this, we’ve recently dealt with many situations of abuse, grief, rejection, and desertion in the lives of young people. The pain of such trials is immense, but God’s grace is greater!

There are a thousand responses one could have to this list, so I’m not quite sure how to end this post. Let the Holy Spirit take it and do what He desires in your life and family.

1. What do you do when your parents fight a lot and your mom has constant negative things to say about your dad?

2. My mom & dad have been going through a tough time. My dad really hurt my mom, and she is bitter and often “vents” to me. I’m not really sure how to take it or how to feel about it.

3. I turned 18, but my parents are reluctant to treat me like an adult. I still honor and obey them, but they still treat me like I’m 12. What should I do?

4. I’m bitter with my parents, and I want to make it better… I just don’t know how to.

5. How do I live for God with the ungodly ways of my parents who are not Christians?

7. How do you deal with a dad/parents who want you to be just like them? How do you live up to their high expectations?

8. Is a family problem partly your fault?

10. My parents have conflicting standards, and I’m a little confused as to where to put my standards. Should I find a median? (one is high, one is low.. not too low, but definitely not strict)

11. My mother is in an abusive relationship, what should I do?

There are a thousand responses one could have to this list, so I’m not quite sure how to end this post. Let the Holy Spirit take it and do what He desires in your life and family.

Discipline that Develops the Heart

caryschmidt — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 16:30:27 +0000

Ten Biblical Principles for Winning Your Child’s Heart

How do you discipline your children? Here are ten Biblical principles for handling discipline biblically and in a way that truly develops the heart of your child.

Discipline that develops the heart…

1. Is Controlled and Premeditated—It doesn’t fly off the handle or out of control.

Proverbs 16:32, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

Colossians 3:21, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

2. Is Biblically Principled and Corrective—It rests upon a Higher Authority—God and His Word, and isn’t easily manipulated.

Proverbs 19:18, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

3. Is Instructive and Nurturing—It moves beyond reaction and actually instructs and trains.

Proverbs 4:1-4, “Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. 2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. 3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. 4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.”

4. Is Focused on Beliefs then Behavior—It seeks to understand the beliefs that drive behavior, not merely change behavior.

Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”

Proverbs 4:1-2, “Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. 2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.”

5. Is Focused on Restoring Relationships—It always seeks a stronger relationship, not a wounded one.

Col. 3:21, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

6. Is Listening and Encouraging—It contemplates, considers, and listens to the feelings and expressions of the heart.

Psalm 103:13, “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him.”

Col. 3:21, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

1 Thessalonians 2:11, “As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children.”

7. Is Prayerful and Christ Centered—It brings Christ to the forefront and maintains a humble spirit.

James 5:16, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

8. Is Selfless and Contextual—It is for the profit of the child and helps the child see the larger context of blessing.

Hebrews 12:10, “For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.”

9. Is Forward Looking—It blesses the heart with hope and an “I believe in you” spirit.

Proverbs 4:10, “Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many.”

1 Peter 2:2, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:”

10. Is Obedient to a Higher Authority—It flows from a heart that is obviously obedient to the Heavenly Father.

Proverbs 24:21, ” My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:”

Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”

Continue the discussion: How have you seen God bless these principles in your own life or family?

Becoming an Insightful Parent #2

caryschmidt — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:08:10 +0000

Part two of an article on discerning Your Child’s Needs and Responding Biblically. You can read part one here.

We’re discussing “reading” your children—understanding and interpreting their behavior and needs in the light of biblical wisdom. In our last article we said it begins with understanding God’s Word and asking God for wisdom. Then praying with your children allows the Holy Spirit to soften the heart and connect you on a more spiritual level. From there it’s a matter of obeying God’s promptings regarding your children’s needs and responding to His leading. The fifth point was on working together with your spouse and sharing your insights. Let’s move on…

6. Spend Quantity Time with Your Children—Discernment takes study, and study takes time. The more time you spend with your children, the better you will understand their ups and downs, their growth, and their behavior. Time with them will help you be able to sort through what is a normal part of their personality, what is a spiritual struggle, and what is the expression of a heart need. This time should be connected time when you are communicating—not TV or movie time, and not time shared with other friends. Try to spend one on one time with each child each week. You may miss some weeks, but if every week is your goal, you stand a good chance of staying on course.

7. Choose to Look Beyond the Surface—Don’t focus merely on behavior. Ask where the behavior is coming from. Consider the reasoning, the logic, and the emotions that produce the decisions and behavior of your child. This is discernment in action—seeing beneath the surface. For instance, when your child is misbehaving, obviously it’s a sin problem, but ask the Lord, “What’s the trigger?”

8. Respond with Biblical Principles—Target the heart and pursue the transformation of the heart. Teach and transfer biblical principles and constantly be sensitive to whether the heart is open to those principles or whether there is merely outward conformity. Always point them to the highest authority—the Heavenly Father. If you’re not sure what to say or how to say it, then get help and seek advice. At all costs, point your child to God’s truth as the answer for every life problem. Always show them how your discipline connects to God and His ultimate authority in life.

9. Respond with Appropriate Authority—A variety of behaviors require a variety of responses. As parents, we can’t answer everything with a heavy hammer. Strong discipline should be but one of many tools in your parental toolbox. It’s doesn’t make sense to kill a mosquito with an atomic bomb, but many parents use the atomic bomb for everything. That’s unwise. Ask the Lord to guide your responses and to make them appropriate to the need. Sometimes our children need reproof, other times rebuke, and other times exhortation. (2 Timothy 4:2, “…reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.”)

10. Respond with Compassion—No matter how firmly you deal with a situation, always rest your parenting on the firm foundation of compassion. Begin and end with compassionate nurture, even if firmness is needed in between. If your child will hug you, pray with you, or respond to you, then the heart is open. If not, then the heart is closed. Whatever you do, don’t rest until your child’s heart is open to you.

Other than the Holy Spirit, my best teacher on becoming an insightful parent has been my wife. Dana is the most discerning parent I know. God has given her a tremendous sense of our children’s needs and the direction of their hearts. Thousands of times over the years, she has been my best parenting counselor. She has seen needs that I was blind to. She has suggested a course of action that proved effective. It has been our constant commitment to stay united as a parenting team.

We’re still in the middle of our parenting journey, and we’re loving every moment of it. One thing is for sure—every child is uniquely special by God’s design. That uniqueness should compel us to constantly rely upon the leading of the Holy Spirit in the moment by moment details of parenting.

Give your best effort to becoming an insightful parent, by God’s grace and power. Constantly ask Him for wisdom and guidance. He will answer, and your kids will thank you one day! I love parenting! What life work could we possibly do of any greater value?

Becoming an Insightful Parent

caryschmidt — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 03:06:21 +0000

Becoming an Insightful Parent

Discerning Your Child’s Needs and Responding Biblically

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Do you understand your children? Do you know how to interpret their behavior? Do you understand warning signs and know how to respond? Do you connect their outward behavior with the condition of their heart? In Hebrews 5:12-13 we read a challenge to believers to be skillful in the Word and discerning, “For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. 13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. 14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”

The word discerning speaks of judicial estimation—the wisdom and ability to see what’s really doing on in a circumstance. This ability is something we should all desire in every area of life, but especially with nurturing of our own children. Frankly, the primary thing many parents care about is if their kids are “staying out of trouble.” But discerning parents desire to get beneath the surface and to understand what’s going on in they heart. Why?

The heart is where Biblical values are formed—only when we understand their heart can we understand where they stand with God, and if their faith is authentic or merely an outward, temporary show.

The heart is where questions are contemplated—every child has questions, and Satan is good at exploiting these questions and providing false answers. Parents who get into the heart, unearth those questions so they can provide biblical answers.

The heart is where real relationships are cultivated—like the root system of a tree or healthy plant, it’s beneath the surface, face to face, eye to eye, and heart to heart, that a strong relationship and authentic closeness is built.

The heart is where spiritual battle is fought—the Devil is going after our kids hearts. He wants their emotions, their beliefs, and their attitudes. If we’re going to with the spiritual battle, it must be fought for the heart.

A discerning parent is constantly on a sacred pursuit of their child’s heart. Let’s examine ten keys to developing a discerning spirit with our children:

1. Understand God’s Word —the primary way that any of us grow in discernment is the Word of God. The principles of God’s Word provide a foundation of understanding. If you will become a discerning parent, you must become a student of God’s Word and of good parenting books that expound God’s Word.

2. Ask for God’s Wisdom—This is one of God’s great promises to us in James 1—that He will give wisdom to anyone who will ask in faith. Wisdom is the ability to see the real needs and know how to respond. It is the ability to see your child as God sees and to respond as He would have you to respond. Wisdom will help you know when they need to be sent to their room, taken out to lunch, or put to bed.

3. Pray with and for Your Children—nothing will help you understand where the heart is like prayer with someone. Make it a priority to pray with them each night before bed. Sense their heart toward you, toward the Lord, and toward the challenges of life through their response—physically, in prayer. So few parents actually do this, but it’s so powerful and so simple! This brief time of prayer will accomplish spiritually what weeks and weeks of human effort could never accomplish.

4. Accept and Obey God Given Promptings—God gives every parent an internal warning system. We can either choose to accept or deny those warnings. These promptings from the Holy Spirit are easily reasoned away or ignored, but they are a most vital aspect of parenting. The times I have neglected these warnings, I have eventually come to regret it. The times I have heeded them, I have always discovered something that needed parental intervention. Wise parents accept God’s internal promptings, even if they don’t fully understand them or can’t explain them. You don’t need to explain what God is putting on your heart. You just need to heed and obey it.

5. Be a Team Player with Your Spouse—think and talk about your children together with your spouse. Pray for them together. When talking together, God will give you collective thought and wisdom to create a biblical approach to dealing with the situations your children face. In these talks, Dad and Mom can mutually benefit from each other’s insight. When parents are a team, they heed each other’s cautions, listen to each others perspectives, and respond with unified hearts. This is a great gift to any child!

6. Spend Quantity Time with Your Children—Discernment takes study, and study takes time. The more time you spend with your children, the better you will understand their ups and downs, their growth, and their behavior. Time with them will help you be able to sort through what is a normal part of their personality, what is a spiritual struggle, and what is the expression of a heart need. This should be connected time when you are talking and enjoying each other—not TV or movie time, and not time shared with other friends. Try to spend one on one time with each child each week. You may miss some weeks, but if every week is your goal, you stand a good chance of staying on course.

7. Choose to Look Beyond the Surface—don’t focus merely on behavior. Ask where the behavior is coming from. Consider the reasoning, the logic, the thought processes, and the emotions that produce the decisions and behavior of your child. This is discernment in action—seeing beneath the surface. For instance, when your child is misbehaving, obviously it’s a sin problem, but ask the Lord, “What’s the trigger?”

8. Respond with Biblical Principles— Target the heart and pursue the transformation of the heart. Teach and transfer Biblical principles and constantly be sensitive to whether the heart is open to those principles or whether there is merely outward conformity. Always point them to the highest authority—the Heavenly Father. If you’re not sure what to say or how to say it, then get help and seek advice. At all costs, point your child to God’s truth as the answer for every life problem. Always show them how your discipline connects to God and His authority in life.

9. Respond with Appropriate Authority—A variety of behaviors require a variety of responses. As parents, we can’t answer everything with a heavy hammer. Strong discipline should be only one of many tools in your parental toolbox. It’s doesn’t make sense to kill a mosquito with an atomic bomb, but many parents use the atomic bomb for everything. That’s unwise. Ask the Lord to guide your responses and to make them appropriate to the need. Sometimes our children need reproof, other times rebuke, and other times exhortation. (2 Timothy 4:2, “…reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.”)

10. Respond with Compassion—No matter how hard you deal with a situation, always let that hard response rest on the firm foundation of compassion. Begin and end with compassionate nurture, even if hardness is needed in between. If your child will hug you, pray with you, or respond to you, then the heart is open. If not, then the heart is closed.

Discerning Your Child’s Needs and Responding Biblically

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Do you understand your children? Do you know how to interpret their behavior? Do you see and understand early warning signs of future problem? Do you connect their outward behavior with the condition and direction of their heart? In this article I want to challenge you to becoming a discerning parent and give some practical steps on “how.”

In Hebrews 5:12-13 we read a challenge to believers to be skillful in the Word and discernment, “For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”

The word discern speaks of judicial estimation—it’s wisdom, insight, and accurate perspective. This ability is something we should desire in every area of life, but especially with nurturing our children. Too many parents only care if their kids are “staying out of trouble.” But discerning parents see beneath the surface and seek to understand what’s going on in the heart. Why?

The heart is where Biblical values are formed—this is the only way to know if their faith is representative of an authentic relationships with God or merely an outward, temporary show.

The heart is where questions are contemplated—every child has questions, and when parents are out of touch, Satan is good at exploiting these questions and providing false answers. Parents who get into the heart, unearth those questions so they can provide biblical answers. (John 8:23, “And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”)

The heart is where real relationships are cultivated—like the root system of a tree or healthy plant, it’s beneath the surface, face to face, eye to eye, and heart to heart, that a strong relationship and authentic closeness is built.

The heart is where spiritual battle is fought—the Devil is going after our kids hearts. He wants their emotions, their beliefs, and their attitudes. If we’re going to with the spiritual battle, it must be fought for the heart.

A discerning parent is constantly on a sacred pursuit of their child’s heart. Let’s examine ten keys to developing parental discernment with our children:

1. Understand God’s Word—The primary way that any of us grow in discernment is the Word of God. The principles of God’s Word provide a foundation for all parental decision making. If you will become a discerning parent, you must become a student of God’s Word and of good parenting books that expound God’s Word.

2. Ask for God’s Wisdom—This is one of God’s great promises given to us in James 1—that He will give wisdom to anyone who will ask in faith. Wisdom is the ability to see the real needs and know how to respond. It is the ability to see your child as God sees and to respond as He would.

3. Pray with and for Your Children—Nothing will help you understand where the heart is like prayer. Make it your priority to pray with them each night before bed. Sense their heart toward you, toward the Lord, and toward the challenges of life. So few parents actually do this, but it’s so powerful and so simple! This brief time of prayer will accomplish spiritually what weeks and weeks of human effort could never accomplish.

4. Accept and Obey the Holy Spirit’s Promptings—God gives every Christian parent an internal warning system. We can choose to accept or deny those warnings. They are easily reasoned away or ignored, but they are a most vital aspect of parenting. The times I have neglected these warnings, I have eventually come to regret it. The times I have heeded them, I have always discovered something that needed parental intervention. Wise parents accept God’s internal promptings, even if they don’t fully understand them or can’t explain them. You don’t need to explain what God is putting on your heart. You just need to heed and obey it.

5. Be a Team Player with Your Spouse—Think and talk about your children together with your spouse. Pray for them together. When talking together, God will give you collective insight and the wisdom to create a biblical approach to dealing with the situations your children face. In these talks, Dad and Mom can mutually benefit from each other’s perspective. When parents are a team, they heed each other’s cautions, listen to each others insight, and respond with unified hearts. This is a great gift to any child!

Click here for part two of this article, as we examine five more tips for developing parental discernment.

Ministry Idea: 3 Questions

caryschmidt — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 21:32:16 +0000

Are you looking for a good way to get to know your students or those to whom you minister? Here’s a quick and simple way to get a glimpse into the heart and cause someone to think more deeply.

This past week, in our 12th grade Sunday school class and at our Single Life retreat, we did a short assignment that really helped me understand where the students are in their hearts and on their spiritual journeys. It’s an easy exercise, but informative, and it causes someone to pause and take inventory spiritually.

We handed out a blank sheet of paper in class and asked each student to answer the following three questions:

1. What has God been teaching me lately? Step back and survey the things you’ve heard from God’s Word, the choices you’ve made, and the circumstances you’re facing and simply ask, “What is God saying to me in all of this?” Anybody with even a slightly sensitive heart will be able to answer this question in a matter of moments. This is always a very valuable thought process. Take it a step further and ask, “How are you responding? Are you doing anything with what God is saying to you?”

2. What are my goals for the next 12 months? Fast forward the DVD of your life to 12 months from now. What would you like to see accomplished? What is your vision (the less tangible direction) and what are your goals (the tangible steps to achieve your vision)? I asked them to list three to five things they would like to see happen on a practical level in the coming year.

3. What are my dreams for the next 5 to 10 years? Ten years from now, where would you like to be and what would you like to be doing? What has God placed on your heart as a long-term direction. God’s will is a good start, but dig deeper. What do you hope God’s will includes?

The practical uses of this simple exercise are many. First, these are great questions to ask yourself, your spouse, or your family. Second, they work well in a variety of ministry contexts where you are trying to understand the hearts and desires of people. I have greatly enjoyed reading what our 12th graders and singles wrote down on their pages, and I have a much better understanding of how to pray for them in the coming months.

As a follow up for the seniors, I wrote them a letter and returned their pages to them. I also sent it to their parents with an encouraging letter. Then I typed up their goals and placed it into my files where I can pray for them over the year.

I’ve been a bit buried lately and haven’t been able to write many blog posts, but hopefully this simple thought will prove to be helpful to you. God bless!

Vacation Highlights 2010

caryschmidt — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:03:28 +0000

This post is for family and friends just to share a bit of God’s blessings from our vacation. Last night we returned from a couple of weeks of great memories, rest, and unforgettable experiences, and our hearts are full for the time we were able to spend with family and friends. Here are some highlights:

Week One – Gulf Coast
The Lord allowed us to spend our first week with my parents, brother, and his family near Pensacola, Florida. We enjoyed a lot of great memories, laughs, good food, and time together. In spite of weather forecasts predicting thunder storms all week, God gave us sunny weather. And the beaches were beautiful and oil free! We enjoyed crabs, walks on the beach, taking photos, playing games, and seeing grandparents and cousins.

Mom’s banana bread was out of this world—as always. Old Bay Steamed Crabs were a highlight, as was taking Haylee on our traditional breakfast date to Waffle House. Believe it or not, living in a dry climate, makes us actually appreciate the humidity—for a few days. My parents and brother (and his family) really helped us have a wonderful time and we were so grateful for all that they did—from cookouts, to crabs, to fun on the water with the seadoo.

One highlight of the week was getting to preach at Victory Baptist Church with Pastor Tim Fellure in Milton, Florida. I had heard a lot of great things about this church, but we really enjoyed being there and getting to know Pastor Fellure and his family. Another highlight was having the biggest snow crab legs I have ever seen—and watching Larry actually reach his limit and not be able to eat any more.

Week Two – North East
Our second week took us to New York City where we visited Pastor Ray Cazis of the International Baptist Church in Brooklyn. Lance is serving in an internship there, so it was a blessing to be able to include him in on family vacation. While there, we spent a couple of days in eastern Pennsylvania where we visited Amish country, Gettysburg, Sight and Sound Theatre, Independence Hall, Geno’s Cheesesteak, and ran up the steps to the Art Museum on downtown Philly. The three most powerful aspects of this portion of our trip were the Sight and Sound presentation of Joseph, visiting Gettysburg, and then driving through the Amish community that experienced the shooting several years back. My heart was deeply touched by both.

Back in NYC, it’s always a blessing to see the ministry of International Baptist Church and what God is doing there. While in the city, we enjoyed Central Park, the Natural History Museum, and China Town. The Lord did many unexpected little things for us this trip, like giving us free parking spots (very rare), allowing us great discounts on things like museum tickets, and giving us beautiful weather—again in spite of predictions of thunder storms.

One huge “out of the blue” blessing was when a lady approached us near the Fox News building offering free tickets for Mike Huckabee’s show. The next morning we found ourselves listening to Governor Huckabee interview his surprise guest, Coach Tony Dungy, about biblical family values and is new book “The Mentoring Leader.” After the show we were able to visit with Governor Huckabee and receive an signed copy of Coach Dungy’s new book. Being that Lance and Larry had both read Coach Dungy’s other books last summer, this was an amazing blessing that only God could have orchestrated.

Our last day, on the way to airport, we stopped at Coney Island for a famous “Nathan’s Hot Dog” and we said goodbye to vacation for another year. The two weeks were memorable, encouraging, and filled with stories we will cherish often. Nearly every day, the Lord did something for us that just caused our jaws to drop. Most often they were little things that reminded us He was showing favor and that He delights in providing for us.

One late evening, the Lord allowed me to briefly share the gospel with a nice lady who worked as the night clerk at Holiday Inn Express. She promised me she would read “DONE” and email me her thoughts. Pray that she will be saved.

It’s always great to enjoy vacation, and it’s always great to be back home. Saying good-bye to family and friends that we love is always so very hard. We brushed away tears at each leg of the journey. If only I could combine home with every one that I love—all into one place! Now that would be… scratch that… WILL BE… HEAVEN!

Note: I’ve posted a few photos from some vacation highlights… see the side bar of the home page.

Who Is Increasing In Your Life?

caryschmidt — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:02:20 +0000

The final message of Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010 was brought by Dr. Don Sisk and entitled “He Must Increase, I Must Decrease.” It was awesome! It profoundly impacted me, and I wanted to share a synopsis of it here. Perhaps it will encourage you.

Taken from the statement of John the Baptist in John 3:30, Dr. Sisk challenged us with this question: Who is growing (or increasing) in your life? A servant leader will always seek to decrease that Christ might increase. And when Christ increases, many things will reveal that increase—Dr. Sisk gave six evidences:

When Christ increases in my life, the following six things will happen:

1. I will think less of self and more about others. Every day that I live, I am more and more challenged by this thought. It’s so easy to think of me first. Isn’t it great that the Holy Spirit offers to fill us and help us overcome such a demanding flesh!

2. I will be less interested in material possessions and more interested in eternal values. This one heaps more conviction upon the first! With culture constantly calling us to the discontented life, a Christ-dominant life will rest in contentment only found in Him, and will seek His kingdom first.

3. I will be less competitive with others and more cooperative with others. Whether it’s between siblings in the same family, members in the same church, staff members on the same team, or pastors in the same city, this one is tough to hide! Everyone benefits when you choose to humble yourself and cooperate with those that God has placed in your life—regardless of who gets the credit.

4. I will be less concerned about drawing a crowd and more concerned about making disciples. It’s not about the size of a church, it’s about the magnitude of our awesome Saviour and His work in transforming even one life! My life was changed in a small church, and chances are so was yours.

5. I will be less consumed with what I want to do and more consumed with what God wants me to do. It’s amazing how we can impose our good intentions upon God. We can dictate how we desire to serve Him. But when Christ increases, what I want becomes irrelevant. Obeying Him becomes life’s primary focus.

6. I will be less consumed with keeping everyone together and more concerned about getting people out to the lost. A challenge to parents regarding their children, to Christians living in their own personal comfort zone, and to pastors, this point calls us to go where God leads us, even when it means saying goodbye to those we love.

In conclusion, Dr. Sisk asked: Who is growing in my life? If I am getting bigger, then Jesus is getting smaller. If I am getting smaller, then Jesus is getting bigger.

May God give us a desire to decrease that He might increase and fulfill all of His will in us and through us!

Note: I encourage you to listen to the message. You will find it in audio form here and in video form here.

Are Revolutionaries Starting to Recant?

caryschmidt — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:47:49 +0000

It’s no secret that in the past few years, George Barna and people like him have given up on the local church (the flawed model they invented) and have documented a revolution of people leaving the organized church to simply go and be the church. While there are a lot of biblical problems with this statement, that’s not the purpose of this post. I received a very encouraging email from a friend yesterday who pointed me to a blog post of one who, for a long time, was critical of the local church. The post was encouraging on a number of levels:

First, it was an admission of wrong. The sincere-hearted minister honestly admitted that missions and outreach become impossibly limited without the local church. He essentially described the dead-end road he had discovered while in search of authentic ministry, and how it led him to return to a local-church focus. He recanted his previous tone toward the church and stated that he had fallen back in love with the local church!

Second, it was an affirmation of God’s truth and purpose in local-church ministry. On his own journey, this revolutionary had come full circle! I love it! He had left church and gone into a lone-ranger style of ministry, only to find out he had no body of fellowship in which to baptize, disciple, and serve with new Christians. He had discovered, by process, that the local church is still God’s purpose and the fulfillment of Christ’s full mission of life transformation.

Third, it was a validation that local-church ministry works in spite of imperfect local-church members. Some revolutionaries left the local church because they were running from spiritual authority and accountability. But not all. Many left because they were disillusioned—fed up with carnal local-church experiences. They were tired of the game that contemporary churches are playing where Christ is not preeminent, and genuine new life is not found. In knee-jerk reaction fashion, they rejected God’s very design. With sincere motivation, they did the wrong thing. This revolutionary wrote that he now realizes churches of imperfect people are a priceless treasure in God’s eyes!

I was greatly encouraged to read of one revolutionary coming back to a biblical focus for Christ-centered ministry. And I really respected his love and passion for authentic ministry. Local church is God’s plan—we don’t need to revolt, reinvent, or think out of that box. That’s God’s box, and we need to stay in it and work within it. There will always be carnal churches—and there always have been. (Read Revelation 3.) But all over the world today there are growing, Bible-believing, local churches thriving with new life, discipleship, and heart transformation. Barna’s revolutionaries need to see a few healthy churches in action. Many of them would fall back in love with God’s blueprint! There’s nothing like it, and there’s nothing better!

Perhaps the work of God’s Holy Spirit will continue to draw other revolutionaries back to loving the local church the way that Jesus does. Apart from the local church, ministry is crippled. Our best efforts to serve Christ fall far short of the true and lasting life transformation that Christ desires to create through healthy, local-church ministry!

Note: I don’t have permission to repost the article, and I’m not familiar with the man who wrote it or his ministry. I didn’t link to it because I would not want him to think I was being critical of him. I was just really glad to read how God had brought his heart around.

Musings on Family Vacations

caryschmidt — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:47:48 +0000

I can’t believe how quickly decades pass! As I write, I’m sitting on a red-eye flight, starting our 20th family vacation—our first without Lance. My mind goes back to what seems like a moment ago. I’ve been here before. It was in a hotel room in Palm Desert, California about 13 years ago—our last night of family vacation in another era. We had spent the day swimming, roller blading, mini-golfing… all the good stuff of a family vacation. The lazy day wound to a giggly close with two little boys—very little—jumping on the bed in their pjs, being tickled, and praying together.

As they were brisked off by mom to brush their teeth, I faced a sudden rush of tears, seemingly out of nowhere. It was an emotional and unexpected flash forward to a far off moment—a time when the two boys would be grown men and family vacations were, in themselves, winding to a close. As I imagined that “far away time” I fought off the emotion, but Dana caught my eye. She must have sensed something in my face. She turned, and with her winsome smile said, “Hey, are you okay?” I had held back the tears… until she said that. That ever happen to you?

As I began to cry, I laughed at the same time… at myself. Dana came and sat next to me asking what was wrong. “Nothing… I just realized, if God gives us 18 family vacations with our first born, then six of them are gone already! That’s just not much time, really.” And then, while the two boys who were supposed to be brushing teeth were obliviously splashing water and giggling a few feet away, we just sat on the bed, held each other and cried for a moment, both feeling silly for doing so.

So, yes, I’ve been here before. But this time it’s real. Tonight we got in the car and held our annual family tradition of many years—we listened to You’ve Got A Friend in Me. Once again, Dana started crying when she realized that one voice wasn’t singing along as he always does. And once again I’m reminded of how quickly the years have passed, and I’m thankful for every family vacation.

If you have a young family, I want to share with you the things I’m so glad we did over the years, and encourage you to redeem the time while your children are young.

At least once a year, get a week or two away as a family—make this a priority, whatever it takes. Plan for it, be creative, be tenacious to provide this for your family. You all need it. A big part of raising kids is just having a good time with them. So many kids reject the faith of their parents because at the end of the day, the parents just made the journey miserable! If you want your kids to adopt your beliefs, you’d better make them attractive. Family fun is a big part of that.

Spend at least a week alone as a family—I’m all for time with extended family, but your family needs alone time. Many years ago we started taking at least five days together as a family alone. Many vacations since then we’ve spent the entire two weeks alone together. Thankfully our extended family has understood even though I’m sure it wasn’t always their first choice. Looking back, this focused time together was invaluable!

Laugh a lot and deliberately have fun together in ways you will always remember—for us this has been as simple as Scrabble and as complex as a theme park. I don’t believe it’s about expense, but rather expression—environments and elements that allow you to fully enjoy your family relationships in memorable contexts. (Be sure to take pictures so one day you can remind your kids of all the fun you had together!)

Use the time to especially love on your kids and let them know how special they are—start vacation by writing your children a personal note of love. Put some spending money in it. Let them stay up later than normal, eat more candy than they should, and act sillier than normal people act. Do small things that say, “you are special, and I’m glad we get to be together for this special time.”

Disconnect from other demands to give yourself fully to each other—voice mail messages and auto-emails that say, “I’m out of pocket…” are a beautiful thing. If you serve in ministry, you know that you’re never really off the clock, and if you’re “called,” you don’t want to be off the clock. But all year long your family is graciously flexible to share you for various needs and emergencies. Let this be a time when they don’t have to share you.

Rest and restore your relationships and hug each other a lot—be physically affectionate with your children, all the time, but especially on vacation. Snuggle a lot, hold hands, hug, put your arm around them. On top of this, sleep in and catch your breath spiritually. If you didn’t grow up in an affectionate home environment, get over it and be affectionate. Don’t rob your kids of the same thing your parents withheld from you.

Balance different types of vacations—I think there are three basic types of family vacations. The adventurous, sight-seeing kind, the visiting family kind, and the hanging around doing nothing kind. The Lord has allowed us to have all three types over the years, and sometimes a combination of the three. Be sure you don’t overdose on one over the others. They’re all awesome!

Figure out favorite places and family traditions and return to them regularly—over the years, God has given us favorite spots like P.F. Chang’s, favorite treats like shaved-ice, favorite pastimes like collecting seashells, and favorite activities like the Cranium Family Fun Game. Once a tradition is established, it’s all the more special every time you return to it.

Now, before you feel sorry for us, we will eventually meet up with Lance on this vacation (so I’m not sure why I’m all introspective about it). And even if we didn’t, we are thankful for the great years together that God has given us. Emotions at a time like this are not those of sorrow, but of transition. Life is filled with them. Sometimes they just catch you by surprise, even when you knew they were coming.

I hope these ideas will encourage you. Don’t let any force on earth prevent you from giving your family what you should while you have them. For sooner than you think, giggling, splashing, roller-blading little men leave their boyish ways and grow somewhat beyond the reach of family vacations…

Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010

caryschmidt — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:13:27 +0000

Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010 wrapped up last night. God gave us a fantastic week. Today, in the midst of decompressing, I couldn’t help but sit down and journal some of the highlights of the week for me. Here’s what God used to impact me the most:

1. The Preaching. Every single message was a grand-slam home run! Dr. Chappell, Dr. Norris, Dr. Davison, Dr. Sisk all preached with power. In my life, God most used Dr. Sisk’s message last night—He must increase and I must decrease. He concluded the message with this question: “What’s growing in your life?” He then said, “If you are getting bigger and bigger, then Jesus is getting smaller. But if you are getting smaller and smaller, then Jesus will get bigger.”

2. The Testimonies and Programs. Throughout the week we heard stories of the ministry of the Holy Spirit—from Monday night’s video “Walking with Giants” (from Dr. Bobby Roberson) to Wednesday’s individual salvation stories and then the video highlighting growing ministries around the world. Each story challenged me in a unique way. I’m eternally grateful for every person who was willing to give a testimony or be a part of a video.

3. The Friends and Fellowship. My greatest friends are other servants of God who are fully engaged in the work of Christ. For that reason, we don’t often get to spend a lot of time together. It was truly awesome this week to rub elbows with so many great servants of God from so many places. I believe the fellowship of this week was a taste of Heaven. We weren’t gathered this week around a college, a personality, a fellowship, or a political position. We were gathered around biblical principles and a common passion to serve Christ with purity. There wasn’t the slightest spirit of competition or comparison! I believe that pleased the Lord. This made for an incomparable spirit and unforgettable encouragement. It was just awesome to see and spend time with so many amazing people.

4. The Team of Servants. I could never be worthy to serve with the incredible people on our team. All week I watched our staff, our church family, our teens, and our in-town college students give of themselves and expend themselves in ways that are noble beyond words. Teams of people worked through the night preparing facilities, videos, technical systems, etc. The music team labored for hundreds of hours on songs, narrations, and rehearsals. The publications team prepared resources, lugged boxes of books all over campus, stayed late processing orders, etc. The tech team recorded, edited and posted 125 sessions, worked tirelessly on livestream details, and supported an entire campus with sound, light, and projection. This is the tip of the iceberg. God’s people are amazing! It is a privilege beyond words to serve on this team and with this church family.

It is our desire to share Spiritual Leadership Conference with people who couldn’t attend. I’m posting several links below that will help you access videos, audio, photos, and resources that were available at the conference. I pray these things will be a blessing.

Free audio downloads of the entire conference—as a gift to you, the entire conference, including the outline notebook, can be downloaded free of charge at www.strivingtogether.com. Pastor Chappell’s sessions will be produced into Spiritual Leadership Podcasts in the coming months. You can find out more about the podcasts at www.ministry127.com.

Videos from the conference and of main services—several videos are already available. These take longer to upload, but you can view each service and video at this link in the coming few days. Feel free to download the videos and use them in your own ministry.

Photos of the conference—this is a collection of shots taken during the week.

New Striving Together Publications resources introduced—this is a complete list of the new resources available at the conference.

Registration for the 25th anniversary conference 2011—this link will let you get the best seats and early registration benefits for next year’s conference.

25th Anniversary Alaska Cruise—this link will help you contact Templeton Tours to get more information about the 25th anniversary Alaska Cruise, August of 2011. If you are a pastor, consider becoming a co-host. This simply means you desire to bring a group, and in doing so, you can earn free passage on the cruise. If you are a church member, consider sending your pastor on this trip of a life time! If you have question, please feel free to contact my office at 661-946-4663.

Over all, Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010 was a life changing time in my life, and I pray, in many others. We thank God for allowing us to be a part of such a wonderful event! To all who came—thank you for coming! It was awesome to fellowship with you. To all who helped—thank you for serving the Lord with us! It was certainly a week to remember forever!

Strengthening Spiritual Decisions

caryschmidt — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:31:48 +0000

As promised, here are a few short thoughts about how to respond to your teenager after teen camp, especially in regards to their spiritual decisions.

Begin with the long-term perspective—Our view of spiritual decisions is often just too short. Every good decision of life begins with short-term challenges, but also bears long-term results at a “core-values” level. Even if a teen struggles with a decision in the few weeks after camp, that doesn’t negate the fact that a long-term value was established. The key is, encourage your teen to take the long-term view that they might not get discouraged with short-term struggles. For example, let’s say a teenager decided to start walking with God personally. We all know that teen will struggle with keeping that decision every single day. But the long-term value of walking with God has been established. If that teen can take the long view, and not get discouraged when a day or two is missed, he might still be walking with God twenty years from now. 2 Peter 3:18 says, “But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” Growth is always a long-term proposition.

Recognize what real spiritual victory looks like—With many of our spiritual struggles, the victory is in the battle—it’s in staying in the fight. For example, just because I decide to have a good spirit towards my parents doesn’t mean I won’t ever have a struggle with them again. It means that I’ve decided to engage in the fight to maintain a good spirit or to restore one when I fail. Staying in the fight is the most important part of long-term victory. Many Christians give up too soon. It is for this reason that 1 Timothy 6:12 says, ”Fight the good fight of faith” and Ephesians 6:13-14 says, “…having done all, to stand. Stand therefore…” Spiritual victory in this life involves staying in the fight no matter what.

Make decisions public and share with family—If you haven’t already, carve out some time to sit down and ask your teenager what God is doing in his life. Too often, parents are convicted by their teen’s decisions and actually criticize them or belittle them. Phrases like, “Well, we’ll see how long that lasts…” or “We’ll see if you really mean it” are discouraging. Sometimes within moments of getting back from a camp or retreat, family members start tearing down what God did in the heart. Hebrews 10:24 teaches us, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:” Be thankful if your teenager is taking a higher road than you’re taking. In fact, join them on the journey. You really won’t miss your bad music, rotten TV shows, or bad spirit. Usually teen camp decisions are good for the whole family.

Encourage each other in godly decisions—To make a spiritual decision is to step onto a battlefield. Nobody wants to go to war alone. If someone you love has chosen to fight a spiritual battle, fight with them. Pray, encourage, strengthen, and support them. 1 Peter 1:22 teaches us that we need fervent love in fighting the battle for purity, “Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:”

Renew decisions when you fail—It’s easy to spot failure. Within days of making a decision, often the devil has succeeded at getting us to fail. His ultimate goal is that we might give up. We really only lose when we quit fighting altogether. For this reason, remember the importance of getting back up. Any decision worth making is worth fighting for and worth getting back up for after failure. Proverbs 24:16 challenges us, “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…”

I started going to camp when I was 9 years old. For the past 31 years, I’ve been to camp nearly every year. Every year I’ve made decisions. And every year I’ve struggled to keep them. Over three decades, my life is much different than it would have been. The decisions held more than short-term value. The weeks of camp were more than just short-term spiritual pep rallies. They shaped me. They formed my future. They instilled passion. They infused courage to embrace big, direction-setting values. The short-term struggles of whether I kept a decision for a week or two is massively overshadowed by the collective value of deciding many times over to continue doing right and living for God. Each decision was another choice to stay in the fight.

Don’t be discouraged if you struggle to keep spiritual decisions. Just keep making them. Keep fighting the battle. You can never go wrong making a spiritual decision—even if you make it many times over! Teen camp results should really be measured in decades, not weeks. Maybe you’ve already struggled with a recent decision and the devil has started discouraging you. Now would be a great time to get back up and stay in the fight!

Teen Camp 2010 Recap

caryschmidt — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:21:17 +0000

Today we completed a wonderful week of teen camp. Here’s a short recap.

First, we were able to return to Pine Summit Camp in Big Bear, California. Operationally, this was the best week of camp we’ve ever had. The good team at Pine Summit served our group well with great food, tremendous facilities, and a wide array of activities and free-time options for the teens. After several bad experiences with camp facilities, we were thankful for big improvement! In addition to this, our LBC camp staff provided great games and a fun-filled week for every teen!

Second, the main event of teen camp is always the preaching. This year Pastor Kurt Skelly preached to our Senior Highers and Pastor Josh Irmler preached to the Junior Highers. Both men were very biblical, practical, and passionate in their preaching. God used them powerfully! In addition to perhaps thousands of spiritual decisions, God gave us approximately 23 teens who trusted Christ, and another 20 who surrendered to God’s call to full time ministry. It was a delight to see the tender hearts at the invitations. Each night, many teens raised a hand asking for a counselor to pray with them about something specific.

Third, we thank the Lord for a great group! Eight other churches from the southwest joined us for the week. Approximately 420 teens and 80 adults participated in the week, and the entire group had a tremendous spirit. I’m especially thankful for the fellowship the youth pastor’s shared, and the sacrifice our adult leaders displayed as they invested their hearts and influence into the teens. From early morning to late night, God gave each of us many counseling moments to encourage, pray with, and strengthen the young people.

Fourth, I thank the Lord for a week of unforgettable moments and spiritual victories. This article would be much too long if I attempted to recall them all, but here are a few highlights of the week. Dozens of teens who have been hurt or who are bearing burdens made decisions to “overcome the evil with good.” The teens memorized several thousand verses during the week. Our new class of Seniors displayed a tremendous spirit and made many good decisions. The WCBC ladies trio did a great job singing and serving. Youth pastors participated in a round-table idea sharing time for youth ministry. Dozens of former youth group graduates returned to camp as counselors—I’m grateful for their tremendous mentoring and godly examples. Older teens consistently reached out encourage younger teens. Pastor and Mrs. Chappell visited camp on Thursday, spent some time with the kids, and shared a challenge in the evening services. And the week was filled with great laughs and hilarious memories.

The biggest take-away for me was the overwhelming understanding of the enormous burdens that many teens bear. This week we counseled many teens who have indescribable grief unfolding in their lives. A huge percentage of them have faced broken homes, abuse, rejection, desertion, and other painful trials. Our hearts broke as we wept and prayed with these young people. My prayer is that God used the week to encourage them and heal their hurts by His grace.

Looking back, teen camp is an exhausting week, but worth every moment! It’s one of the most critical spiritual weeks of the year. The hundreds of hours of personal counseling, praying, planning, and participation will reap decades of fruit in young lives. Teen Camp produces lasting life change. I can attest to this because of the powerful impact camp had on my own life as a teenager.

If you are a parent, thank you for sending your teenager! Thank you for allowing us to minister to them! It’s a great privilege. Check back this weekend for a short article on how to encourage and strengthen your teenager’s camp decisions.

If you are a youth pastor, we would love to have your group join us next year. Space is limited, so let us know soon if you are interested. We would be happy to provide you with more information. If you are a praying friend, thank you for praying for God to work! He answered prayer! Our hearts are full. God truly blessed teen camp 2010!

The Road to Adulthood Gets Longer

caryschmidt — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:52:24 +0000

New Data on the Growing Distance Between Youth and Adulthood

The New York Times ran a fascinating article yesterday entitled “The Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer” by Patricia Cohen. The article reinforces a growing body of research, much of which I wrote about in Life Quest: Braving Adulthood with Biblical Passion. The point is, the twenty and thirty-something generations are increasingly choosing to postpone the decisions and responsibilities of adult life, choosing rather to stay in a perpetual state of limbo—between youth and adulthood. They are taking longer to finished education, begin a family, and become independent.

The most interesting stats in the article were as follows: The median age for marriage is now 27 for men, 26 for women. It was 23 in 1980. Today, 40% of all births are to unwed mothers. That’s a massive shift from 28% in 1990. Parents are now spending more on their kids in their twenties than when they were teens. The average parent spends 10% of their income on their “twenty-something” children. One fourth of 25-year-old men live at home with their parents. That’s up from less than one eighth in 1970.

The article emphasized that marriage and parenthood are now viewed as lifestyle choices rather than a normal part of adulthood. The last statement of the article said that our thought that people enter adulthood in their late teens and early twenties is an “archaic idea.”

Biblically, I believe we should do everything within our power to encourage young adults to resist a trend toward immaturity and irresponsibility. Avoiding responsibility is destructive to life. Practically speaking, however, this trend is a reality in today’s culture, and it’s not all spiritually driven. There are many societal forces that make the transition to adulthood more difficult than it has ever been. The cost of living, the expense of a college education, the information age, and the economic challenges of our day all tend toward the postponement of adulthood.

If you are reaching young adults with the Gospel, this is their reality. This is their “normal.” On one hand we should encourage Christian young adults to resist the trends, but in a very real sense the world in which they live and work thinks very differently. When we reach young adults with the Gospel, their social and cultural philosophies are already deeply ingrained with this thinking.

From my perspective the dangerous aspects of the trends are not necessarily that more young adults are single, living at home, taking longer to be educated, or still having financial help. But rather it is the “why” behind these decisions. In some ways, these things may be unavoidable in today’s climate, and driven by circumstances beyond our control. God’s call and purpose may not always include a spouse, a family, a place of your own, or early financial independence. The real danger lies in avoiding purpose, responsibility, and direction. The real loss is when young adults waste a decade or two in folly rather than focusing on living God’s will and fulfilling His call.

Let’s face it, apart from Christ, secular adulthood, with its wreckage and hopelessness, is less than inviting. It’s something to avoid as long as possible. It’s much more attractive and appealing to stay uncommitted and indecisive—unfettered by adulthood’s weighty responsibilities. I would be indecisive too if so many of my options appeared to lead to hopelessness!

In today’s climate, more young adults simply don’t like their odds when they look at the generation who has gone before them. Too many adult decisions obviously result in failure and despair—so it appears easier not to make them. Many are simply choosing the path that appears to have the least risk, and avoiding the vulnerability that big commitments bring.

The painkillers of life are also attractive—alcohol, drugs, partying, illicit sex, etc. All of these things provide a temporary escape from the steady, dull ache of a meaningless life. Life in Christ is quite the contrary. It is purposeful, joy-filled, and abundant. Life in Christ is not something to escape from, curse about, dread, or avoid.

This past week at a College and Career fellowship we had a lengthy group discussion about the ridicule that Christians receive from co-workers for the things they don’t do—like cursing, drinking, drugs, parties, and sex. I said to the group, “No wonder the world needs these things. I would too if I wasn’t saved! Without Christ, life would be worth cursing about. Life would plainly stink! Life without Christ would require some painkillers and escape. Alcohol, sex, drugs, and parties would be the only hope for temporary relief from the pointlessness and emptiness. What a joy it is to know Christ, to know abundant life. Because of Him, I don’t need to escape my life.”

What does the research show us? Hope for the Gospel! It shows us that young adults are searching for answers in a world that provides none. This is a fantastic platform for the God’s Word! Twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings are prime candidates for the hope, joy, and success that Christ can bring!

As for Christians, we may not be able to rush their education, speed up their dating, or move them quickly to financial independence. But we can challenge them biblically to embrace God’s call and to live purposefully, responsibly, and passionately for Him. That commitment will rightfully lead to all the other right commitments in God’s time.

Note: The article also had some interesting links to research related to transitioning into adulthood, and some links to related articles that would be helpful to someone in young adult ministry.

Preaching that Pleases God

caryschmidt — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 14:00:34 +0000

A New Book by Tom Farrell from Striving Together Publications.

If you are interested in growing teacher or preacher of the Word of God, you must read Preaching that Pleases God by Tom Farrell. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read on the subject, and it will challenge you to be a more faithful preacher and teacher of God’s truth.

We were privileged to enter into this project about a year ago with Dr. Farrell. Personally, I was profoundly impacted by Tom Farrell’s preaching as a teenager, and it was a great blessing to be able to help in this project. Dr. Farrell has faithfully and powerfully preached God’s Word and trained preachers throughout his ministry. He is a man with the obvious anointing of God on his life, and this book flows from a passionate heart, a skilled mind, and a fruitful life.

You can find out more or order your copy at Striving Together Publications! Thank you Dr. Farrell for a much needed challenge to return to Holy Spirit empowered Bible preaching!

Communication on a Winning Team

caryschmidt — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 16:28:28 +0000

Communication is about sharing information with those who need it. But often communication is what is lacking the most on ministry teams. When we don’t communicate, we aren’t working together, and that causes things to break down. Here are seven quick principles that the Lord has challenged me to work at. I pray they will encourage you to be a better communicator on your team:

Don’t Make Your Leader Pull Information—Push it His Direction—Leaders must make informed decisions, and leaders always need more information—they thrive on it. Followers don’t always understand a leader’s need for information. Good communication always gathers information and pushes it to the people who need it. For more on this, see this article: “Why Leaders Needs More Communication.”

Be More Focused on Talking to Someone than about Someone—On struggling teams, people sit around and bite on each other. They are frustrated with others, and they need to air their grievances with sympathetic listeners. But this is destructive! On winning teams, people talk to each other and resolve their grievances. It’s simple, but HUGE!

Be More Focused on Providing Solutions than Pointing Out Problems—Some people are professional “problem-pointer-outers.” They see all the problems, but they never offer a solution, they never take action to be a part of the process of improvement. It’s not that winning teams are blind to the problems, they just view them differently. Rather than see only problems and gripe about them, they see the problems and immediately start working on solutions. This is an easy rut to fall into. Try to make it your goal to never bring up a problem unless you can offer several helpful solutions.

Be More Focused on Taking Responsibility than Fixing Blame—What is our human fixation with having to assign blame? Have you noticed how much attention on the recent oil spill has been spent on fixing blame, and blame-shifting? Winning teams don’t really care who’s to blame because whoever it is, they’ve already owned it! Winning team members take responsibility—they step up, raise their hands, and say, “This one is all my fault… I’m sorry!” This instantly allows the whole team to focus on a solution and recovery. Assigning blame is a diversion. As long as we are trying to find out who’s fault this is, we’re probably not getting a solution into place. Taking responsibility is a rare character quality in today’s culture.

Be More Focused On Giving Credit than Getting Credit—Winning teams don’t really care who gets the credit. Credit is pretty lame any way. We all know that ultimately God gets the credit for any good thing. And if He allowed you to be part of a good outcome, there were probably others who helped make it happen. Winning teams share credit and constantly thank others for their contribution to the good.

Be More Focused on Glorifying God than Getting Your Way—Losing teams are very territorial and fractured by personal agenda. When we are territorial we get tunnel visioned—about budgets, about schedules, about facilities—we want to fight for our piece of the pie. This isn’t how winning teams function. Winning teams see the larger perspective and work together for the good of the whole. This means territories and personal agendas have to give way to the larger perspective of giving God glory.

Be More Focused on Helping Others Succeed, and Rejoice When They Do—On losing teams, members step on each other to elevate themselves. Winning teams are focused on helping each other succeed. Winning teams have lots of really great players that are willing to be located in the middle of the flow-chart somewhere. For a winning team, the leader’s success is a win for the whole team.

Are you on a winning team? Ask God today to help you become a more effective team member by communicating in a way that helps the whole team move forward!