Encouraging Words from Cary Schmidt » Cary Schmidt

20 Tips for Developing Your Walk with God

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 06:06:28 +0000

Does your devotional walk every become routine? Mechanical? Do you ever find yourself going through the motions, but rushing and not really enjoying personal fellowship with the Lord?

Last night in Senior High Bible Study we studied how to conquer “impersonal Christianity”—a Christianity that knows about God but doesn’t really develop personal intimacy with Him. Each of us is responsible for developing our personal walk with God, and in doing so, I challenge you to keep it personal (be transparent before Him, He already knows you), keep it consistent (daily or close to it), and keep it fresh (do whatever you must do to keep from losing interest.)

Along with those three suggestions, here is a quick list of 20 ideas that might help you break out of the mechanical and develop your walk with God in a new way. We handed these out on a card at the end of Bible Study, and I hope they will encourage you:

1. Read the Bible in Places Where You Can Understand It—don’t be afraid to read another passage if you’re getting bogged down in a complex portion of the Bible.

2. Read Good Books about the Bible or Biblical Truths—lose yourself in a good book that contains a lot of scripture.

3. Use a Bible Software or Study Tools to Help You Understand—things like Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary of the Bible is free online. Take advantage of the insight of others.

4. Read the Bible from a Big Picture Perspective—read a whole book or lengthy passage, rather than just a short chapter.

5. Ask God to Teach You Something that You Need—expect Him to answer this prayer and speak to you.

6. Make a Record of the Things that God is Teaching You (Journal)—whether by hand or on computer, write down what God is teaching you.

7. Tell Someone Else Something that God Taught You (Godly Friends)—what a great use of social networking and a great conversation starter with a friend.

8. Talk to God Openly and Take Time to Listen to Him—don’t be afraid to sit quietly before the Lord and listen.

9. Literally Take a Walk with God and Talk to Him—walking will keep you awake and engaged.

10. Make a List of Prayer Requests and Record When They Are Answered—there’s something very special about looking back on all those answers.

11. Listen to Godly Music and Think about the Message—great Christian music will take your heart to a very special place with God.

12. Listen to Preaching or Teaching from Past Events—what a great use for an iPod.

13. Read Biographies of Great Christians—discover how others developed their lives for the Lord.

14. Spend Time with God in Places You Like—the beach? A park? If you enjoy being there, He will enjoy being there with you!

15. Include God on Other Activities of Life—God is with you all day, so He doesn’t mind if you talk to Him while you fold laundry or mow the lawn.

16. Give God the Time You Give to Some Other Form of Media—He’s more important than Facebook, TV, cell phone, and video games all combined!

17. Give God Quiet, Uninterrupted, Unrushed Time—find moments when you aren’t in a hurry and give those to God.

18. Plan Specific Times to Spend More Time with God—have you ever set aside a larger chunk of time just for the Lord? Try a few hours or a half a day some time.

19. Write Out Scripture or Prayers/Letters to God—what a great way to place God’s Word into your heart and to record your walk with Him.

20. Don’t Quit if You Miss a Day—if you missed yesterday, that’s ok… God is still waiting to spend time with you today.

This is a short list, so help me out. What are some ways you have creatively developed your walk with God? Share them below…

Texting and Driving—Powerful Video

Cary Schmidt — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 18:49:03 +0000

A friend emailed this to me today and I thought it worth sharing. It’s a ten minute video about cell phone usage and text messaging while driving—sharing real stories. I will definitely make sure my kids watch it! If you have teens or a youth group, you might consider passing it along.

Developing a LifeTouch Database

Cary Schmidt — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:22:01 +0000

Have you ever wondered who you are ministering to well, and who you are missing? Whether it’s a class, a group, or a church family, it’s easy to minister to many but miss some—especially those who are quiet.

Some years ago, as our youth group grew larger, we became burdened about who we might be missing in our regular week to week ministry. It occurred to us that we had no reliable way of tracking who was being visited, called, written, or given personal time in ministry. And our heart in ministry is personal relationships—making sure that every student has an opportunity to be mentored and loved one on one.

The answer was what we called the “LifeTouch” database. It’s a simple concept that requires some administrative oversight, but is well worth the effort. It began as an excel spreadsheet which we sorted as needed to generate reports. That led to a man in our church helping us develop an online database accessible from the internet—which means all the LifeTouch information was accessible from anywhere—including a smart phone. Here’s what a lifetouch database is all about:

First we imported all of our student ministry names, addresses, phone numbers, emails, birth dates, age, grade, etc. into our document or file. We separated these by class/grade and gave each worker access to their class roster in the database.

With this database, we decided to track four types of regular contacts or personal ministry. They are as follows:

Visits – personal visits to the home of a class member. (Doesn’t count if they were not home)
Calls – this is a simple phone call of encouragement
Notes – this is a written for of communication, including email or Facebook
Appointment – this would be a time when more than 15 minutes was invested into a life over lunch, a coffee shop, or even after a church service.

Then, we created a column or field for each of these types of contacts in our database. From that moment, we kicked off the effort and asked our workers to report weekly on every visit, call, note, or appointment that they had for student ministry. At first these reports were filled out in Sunday school each week. Our secretary would collect those reports and enter the information. This gave us a good record of everyone who was being ministered to and how.

From there, we began to print lists weekly and distribute them to the teachers and workers. We called them the “No Contact” lists—this was the list of students who had not received any contact yet. Then we could custom print lists showing those who had not been visited, not been called, not been written, or not been taken out for an appointment.

This system helped us, as a group of workers, to make sure we did our best in contacting and ministering to everybody. Unfortunately, it’s not a system I can just put on a disk and give to you. It requires that you have someone on your tech team who understands how to program and maintain an online database. If you have such a person and would like more information about our system, please feel free to email me and I’ll put someone in touch with you.

The system needs to be re-kicked off annually or seasonally as you see fit. We have since reworked our database into a more user friendly format and now our workers are able enter their reports online, and access data including visitation maps and email addresses online. We are preparing to kick this off soon.

The heart of this LifeTouch concept is what’s important—not how you achieve it. The heart is— “Let’s not miss anyone! Let’s make sure we’re ministering to everybody God has given to us!” Whether it’s a simple hand written list, an excel spreadsheet, or an online tool, I encourage you to employ tool to make sure you don’t miss someone. As I said in the beginning of this post, we began with an excel spreadsheet and just sorted columns to print the no contact lists.

It’s simple, but very helpful! The best part of the LifeTouch effort was that it really motivated our team to reach out to every body! Perhaps it will do the same for your team!

You’re Too Busy If…

Cary Schmidt — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 17:44:56 +0000

Do you ever have the feeling that you’re so busy, major values and priorities in your life are slipping? This is a sinking feeling—and bailing water doesn’t help. Time to plug the holes in the boat!

Here’s a short list that might help you evaluate priorities and return to that which is most important in your life. Not all of these things always indicate busyness. Sometimes they indicate a lack of discipline or planning. Sometimes they indicate distraction by lesser things. But if you’re so busy that these things are falling through the cracks of life—you’re just too busy.

You’re too busy if…

1. You aren’t walking with God faithfully and personally. This is when you read His Word and walk with Him in prayer—and there is no replacement. In fact, if you’re not doing this, you are absolutely more stressed and frustrated in life than God intends. Your walk with Him changes everything—it provides stability and perspective that nothing else can. If you’re too busy to walk with God, something must change right away. Develop your walk—develop variety, different spaces, good music, good books, and creative ways to spend time with God and converse with Him. Whatever you do, make sure it doesn’t become mundane, routine, and boring. If it does, you probably won’t do it faithfully. Keep it fresh and you will want to come back to it often!

2. You haven’t shared the Gospel with someone recently. This is why we are here—to be ambassadors. When we go long periods of time without sharing Christ, we miss our central purpose, and our hearts begin to grow cold towards the heart of Christ. It may be during an organized outreach time, it may be handing someone a tract or a book during your week, or it may be an ongoing relationship that you are developing around the Gospel. Don’t stop looking for opportunities in your day to be an ambassador for Christ.

3. You haven’t taken your spouse on a date recently. Whether it’s once a week, once every ten days, or once every two weeks—do you pull aside as a couple and regularly nurture your marriage and rekindle your connection. The more frequent, the better. Is it possible to spend “too much time together” as a married couple? I doubt it. But let’s face it, for most people that problem isn’t even a possibility. Strong, healthy, romantic, passionate marriages are made of people who will fight all the forces of earth to protect and maintain quantity time together. Don’t let busyness rob you of the joy of marriage. After all, when you fell in love, you didn’t marry that person with the intent to never see them…

4. Your spouse is unhappy with the time and attention your are giving to your marriage. This is a simple test—just ask. Don’t get defensive or irritated. Just honestly look at your spouse and say, “Are you getting enough time and love from me?” Be ready to take corrective action if the answer is “no.” Perhaps a good follow up question would be, “How can I do better?” If this is a difficult conversation for you to have, then there’s already trouble in the mix. Swallow your pride and decide to meet your spouse’s needs—as they are felt by your spouse, not as you feel they should be. Don’t try to tell your spouse to expect or need less. Accept the needs as your spouse has them—acknowledge them as legitimate and reasonable—and then get to it! Meet them!

5. Your kids have gotten use to not spending time with you. Are your kids content to just hang with their friends, occupy themselves in their room, or go days without meaningful interaction with you? This is not a good sign. It’s time to make some changes that allow you to deeply and relationally engage with their hearts through personal time together. If your kids still enjoy spending time with you, jump on that, thank God for it, and keep that relationship alive and well. Schedule time one on one with them as often as possible!

6. Your family isn’t enjoying a regular family night or two every week. Is every night of your week filled with extra curricular things? While there’s nothing wrong with sports practices, recitals, night classes, and other such activities—when combined, they can eat up every single night. Each week, look ahead seven days and ask, “When will we be home, together, this week? What can we do as a family to make that time special?” There are always exceptions, but don’t stop fighting for weeks where the whole family is home and enjoying each other for at least one or two evenings—or more. Again, the more the better!

7. You haven’t taught your children a Bible principle recently. Whether through regular family devotions, bed time prayer, or in the flow of daily life and conversations—are you regularly bringing God’s principles to play in the circumstances and dynamics that your children are facing? Our kids bear burdens—child-size burdens, but huge to them. And those burdens are made lighter—those problems are resolved when our kids open up to us and we provide biblical counsel and insight. When your daughter is wrestling with her friends or appearance, when your son is wrestling with issues about girls or grades—your parental wisdom provides a landing place for their emotions. Bring God’s Word into their world and help them respond with truth.

8. You aren’t taking a regular day off just to rest and restore—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If five days isn’t enough to get it all done, what makes you think six or seven days will really make difference? Let’s face it, whether you take a day off or not, there’s always more work to be done than you can possibly do. There’s nothing noble about being a self-proclaimed work martyr. In truth, you will get more done, work better, work smarter, and work more efficiently if you take your day off to truly rest and restore. And on top of that, your day off will help you keep all your other relationships in balance and healthy—which makes you all that much better an employee! If God worked six days and rested the seventh—well, that’s enough of an example for me. He certainly didn’t need the rest. Something tells me He did that as a model for us.

9. You haven’t read a great book recently. We find time to do so many things—watch a movie, catch up on news, see part of a football game. We find time to Facebook and Twitter. But rarely do people find time to immerse into a good book that will challenge them spiritually and strengthen their understanding of God’s Word. It has been said, “People who don’t read are no better off than people who can’t read.” What life challenging book have you read recently? Decide to read a book a month—and then dive in. You will be shocked at how God will change you through great biblical reads!

10. You haven’t cultivated close friendships recently. Dana and I just spent five days with some close friends. One of the most convicting aspects of our time together was that it was the first time we did so in our 25 year friendship. Life often gets so busy that we fail to appreciate and benefit from time with godly friends who sharpen, challenge, and strengthen us in all the right values of life. Fellowship is a biblical principle—and God desires for us to benefit mutually from strong friendships. Do you have people in your life that greatly encourage you and who you can encourage? Don’t take that gift for granted. Get it done—make the phone call, schedule dinner, make it happen. Cultivate closeness that honors Christ and blesses the heart.

So, there are ten things that may indicate you’re too busy—if you think of more, add them below! Now do the courageous thing—the tough thing. Make the changes necessary to make it happen. God bless as you do your best to live with Christ-like priorities!

Five Values of Successful Homeschooling

Cary Schmidt — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 14:04:00 +0000

Educating Your Children with a Winning Philosophy

Recently I had the privilege of meeting with a wonderful group of families in our church that homeschool their children. I fully believe in the value of traditional, Christian education and schooling, but I also have respect for Christian parents who, out of necessity or by preference, choose to homeschool. I shared with these families a short list of values that I’ve seen in successful homeschool families.

This list flows from family counsel, studying the home, and seeing both the blessings and pitfalls of homeschooling. I’ve known many success stories in homeschooling, and in every case, the family had these five basic values in place:

1. The Value of Biblical Curriculum—Successful homeschooling places a premium on the selection of curriculum. When it comes to the choice of either saving a few dollars or having a truly biblical curriculum, these families place a high value on a biblical education. In addition to this, they select Christian curriculum carefully. Not all “Christian” curriculums are the same. In fact several are just plain dangerous.

Selling Christian curriculum can be big business, and wise families ask the Lord for discernment to see beyond the sales pitch and really inspect the biblical validity of the philosophy and approach that a particular publisher takes. Some providers go to unbiblical extremes to build a loyal customer base—including driving a wedge between the family and other biblical institutions.

2.The Value of the Local the Church—Successful homeschool families always place a high value on the local church, in keeping with the clear, New Testament pattern. A few curriculum and resource providers in the homeschool movement are clearly anti-local church. For some, this sentiment is an over-reaction to the failure of the contemporary church. For others, it flows more from their own past family relationships. For some it’s an inner rebellion and aversion to authentic, biblical structure and authority. Often it is due to fear and over-protectionism. (Becoming reclusive from God’s institution isn’t protective for our children, it’s harmful.) Wherever the withdrawal originates, this anti-local local church philosophy is purely unscriptural and therefore, dangerous to the family.

Sometimes this is referred to as a “home-church” philosophy. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with having a church in a home (as churches began in the New Testament), the modern-day typical “home-church” is somewhat morphed and mutated from the New Testament pattern.

Biblical churches have pastoral leadership, structure, order, giving, Biblical preaching and teaching, and authentic outreach ministry. They have pastors, deacons, new life, and missions efforts. But the “home church” philosophy tends to be, more or less, a few families gathering for loose-knit fellowship. It’s more exclusionary and reclusive. The daily operation, outreach, ministry, and administration of an effective local church is quite different.

Here’s the core point—successful homeschool families understand God’s structure of authority and submit to it. These parents don’t demand submission from their children while simultaneously rebelling against God themselves. They place themselves under God’s authority and model the submissive hearts they teach. In addition, they don’t redefine church according to their own terms—like meeting with a few families to play soccer once a week. If I despise God’s biblical authority in my life—church and pastor—I’m teaching my children to eventually cast off authority themselves.

Finally, these families place para-church organizations in proper perspective. They don’t allow curriculum or resource providers to usurp the local church and their commitment to gathering, growing, serving, giving, and participating with a local, called out assembly. I’ve seen God bless this commitment over and over.

3. The Value of Avoiding “Extreme Family Exclusivity”—Sometimes it is born out of fear—fear of exposing our kids to the “outside world.” Other times it is born out of pride—refusing to recognize that God has ordained other institutions to cooperate with the home in spiritual development and support. Some fringes of the homeschool movement tend toward reclusive family tendencies—withdrawing from church-family and biblical support relationships or structure.

As a “grown-up” child, I will be forever grateful for parents who kept my heart tender towards the lost, toward a godly pastor, and towards other growing Christian homes that weren’t “just like us.” In addition, they helped us to refrain from being judgmental or arrogant towards the lost or those who were growing in grace in our church family.

The successful homeschool stories that I have witnessed have always maintained a strong social and relational connection with healthy influences. They teach their children to avoid “peer dependence” while still meeting the need for peer interaction. They make sure their family is participating in the great work of the gospel with a vibrant church family. These parents have helped their children have a heart for the lost world, not to merely withdraw from it. As one friend of mine said—these families are not just cursing the darkness—they are punching holes in it with the light!

4. The Value of a Structured Format—Every parent is gifted by God to train up their child, but many struggle with the academic and structural side of daily education. Homeschooling is a huge commitment on the part of parents. It requires the shouldering of a massive schedule and academic responsibility, in addition to the already overwhelming responsibilities of nurturing and parenting our children and managing the household.

I have counseled families who, not long into the effort, find that they are falling behind. On occasion I’ve had moms or dads admit to being a year or more behind in their child’s education. Homeschooling is a serious commitment to a disciplined regimen—a structured schedule and format. We can’t afford to allow our children’s education slip because of a lack of discipline or academic training.

Success stories always include parents who were passionately committed to providing their children with the very best education possible—and that always includes a structured schedule and the daily discipline of school routines.

5. The Value of Family Balance—This final value speaks to the opposite extreme of the previous. While some families struggle to establish the discipline and routines necessary to stay on schedule, others can go overboard on rigidity. It really depends upon your nature. But some parents would tend to err to the side of over-structuring and bringing all of family life into some sort of system and order. This can be overwhelming to a child.

All of our homes need the balance of rules with relationships. Our kids need time with us outside of a routine. They need to laugh, play, connect heart-t0-heart, and experience our genuine warmth and compassion as parents. That’s hard to experience while sitting in a school desk. And as a parent it can be difficult to balance the role of school instructor or administrator, with the role of parent.

The success stories always include parents who wisely struck the balance with the help of the Holy Spirit. Remember there is something far more important than your child’s education (as vital as that is!) Their relationship with you and ultimately with God trumps everything else! Through all of the efforts to give them a solid education, be sure that the relationship—heart to heart—is healthy and growing.

Every now and then, break protocol and be a parent. Fall in love with your kids and meet the needs of their heart as well as their minds.

In conclusion, again, I believe wholly in the value of traditional Christian education. Whenever possible, a godly team of teachers in the right Christian school environment is a powerful compliment to the Christian home and local church. However, for many families, Christian school is just not an option for a variety of reasons. When these parents courageously shoulder the responsibility of education rather than taking the easier paths of public options, I respect their choice.

I pray that these values will be strong in your home and will help your family to be one of God’s great success stories!

8 Reasons to Follow a Great Leader

Cary Schmidt — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 16:23:26 +0000

Everybody, in some respect is a leader, and everybody is a follower. Few are called to be the key leader. Many more are called to follow and support a key leader. For instance, a family may have many members but should have one father. A team can have many players (and leaders) but only one head-coach. A church can have multiple leaders, but one senior pastor that clarifies the vision and sets the direction.

How about you? Do you have to be the “lead-leader?” Or has God called you, like most, to follow (and lead) from somewhere in the middle of the pack? If He has, then here are some great reasons to love what God has called you to do:

1. To Be Like Jesus—repeatedly Jesus reminded us that He was sent here by the Father and was on mission from Him, under His authority. (John 4:34, “Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.)

2. To Function How God Designed You—God designs some to be visionary and others to implement vision. I’m the latter. That’s not to say that I (or you) are not capable of vision, but simply that I would much rather administrate, strategize, and execute the vision than originate it. For example: Make me think of what should be done—and I’ll flounder in an ocean of endless possibilities, never getting anything done. Tell me what God has put on your heart to accomplish and immediately my mind and heart engage in processing a plan to make it happen.

3. To be a Part of a Great Team—One of Pastor Paul Chappell’s favorite statements is, “Teamwork makes the dream work.” Though we have a large team of leaders at LBC and WCBC, we are all very different and all fulfill very different roles. It’s true—together our strengths complement each other. We accomplish much more as a team than we would individually.

4. To be Stretched to Your Potential—Everybody wants to reach their potential, but few want to actually go there. We fail to consider that “reaching potential” is one hair’s breadth away from “total insanity!” For instance—if you stretch a rubber band to it’s full potential, you are one hair away from “SNAP!”—a broken rubberband. Are you sure you want to reach your potential? If so, be prepared to be stretched way out of your comfort zone.

5. To Develop a Vision Bigger than Self—this ties into point #2. Dynamic, visionary leaders attract people who want to partner together for something great. Everybody likes to be on a winning team!

6. To Hear and Pursue the Truth—you can’t hide from a winning team. You can’t really float or coast with a winning team. If you’re not working hard, pulling your weight, and adding value to the team—everybody knows it. The team creates a natural accountability and motivation that keeps you fully engaged, or convicted when you’re not!

7. To See Your Own Weaknesses–A good leader will help you see your weaknesses, help you play to your strengths, and place you on a team that compensates for your weaknesses. Many people are not willing to face their weaknesses, but a great leader will always help you accept and grow through them.

8. To Enjoy a Great Adventure—no doubt, working for a great leader puts you in places, positions, and circumstances that you would have never placed yourself! (Looking at that statement in light of my last 20 years of ministry, it’s seems like to understatement of the century!)

I’m privileged to work for Pastor Paul Chappell—a great leader. Whether you are a church member, a staff member, or a student, if God gives you the joy to partner with a winning team, you are most blessed! Embrace that second position and prepare for a great adventure!

What blessings have you enjoyed by following a great leader? Add your thoughts below.

SL Podcast: Opening the Front Door

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:12:28 +0000

The audio file above is the newest Spiritual Leadership podcast from Pastor Paul Chappell.

This lesson is entitled “Opening the Front Door.” In this session, Pastor Chappell shares some biblical and practical insights on how to welcome more visitors into your church. The Spiritual Leadership podcast is a free resource from Striving Together Publications (a ministry of Lancaster Baptist Church and West Coast Baptist College).

You can subscribe to this podcast through iTunes and listen on your computer or iPod. You can also receive the complimentary outline with each lesson. Click here for more information about subscribing.

We pray that this resource will strengthen and equip you in God’s work!

Pitfalls of Passive Parents (Part 2)

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:51:05 +0000

This is part two of Pitfalls of Passive Parenting. Click here to read part one.

Passive Parents Focus on Behavior Modification Rather Than Heart Transformation—They are more concerned with minimizing embarrassment than with truly molding the heart. Eli wasn’t alarmed by the wickedness of his sons’ hearts. He was just embarrassed by their behavior and the complaints he received. In other words, if their sins weren’t so public and embarrassing, he wouldn’t have been bothered at all.

Wise parents do not merely try to modify or manipulate outward behavior. They are always thinking of the heart and targeting heart transformation. They are always asking the question, “Is my child just conforming outwardly, or is his heart embracing God’s truth?”

Behavior modification and outward conformity is a losing proposition. It’s temporary and shallow. It always breaks down at some point, and passive parents are usually shocked and surprised when that happens. Our kids need deep, heart-level convictions built on the foundation of truth and not merely the expectations of men.

Passive Parents Invest High Energy into Personal Interests and Career, but Little Energy into Parenting—Eli somehow found time to serve God, but not time to restrain his sons, and God was not pleased. One of the saddest verses of the passage is 1 Samuel 2:25 when Eli is speaking with his sons and says, “…if a man sin against the LORD, who shall intreat for him?” I believe their father should have intreated! Eli wouldn’t even intercede before the Lord for his sons.

Later, when God pronounces judgment upon Eli’s house, his response is rather ho-hum, “…It is the LORD: let him do what seemeth him good.” What amazing resignation and passivity.

Wise parents fight passionately for their children. They intercede, they intervene, they fully engage with their best energy and effort. They are willing to lose the world, but not their children. And God always honors those right priorities.

Passive Parents Ultimately Resign Themselves to “Whatever Will Be…”—Eli never really invested much energy into trying to bring about a change. Perhaps he saw himself as the victim of circumstances and powerless in his sons’ lives. That belief caused him to slump into fatherly resignation and neglect. I want to shout to Eli, “Get up and fight! Reconcile your relationship with your sons! Do something! Beg God! Plead for your family!”

Wise parents never give up and they never believe it’s too late to affect a change. Many times I’ve seen faithful parents remain faithful through the struggles of a prodigal child. Through all the heartbreak, pain, embarrassment, and frustration, they never quit church, never left the Lord, and never stopped fighting. Rather than play a blame game, they just kept loving, praying, and living faithfully. Though their child was adrift, they remained the anchor!

And many times, I’ve seen those children come back to the Lord and to their spiritual anchor—their prayer-warrior parents. Parent, it’s never too late to see God work in the heart of your child! Don’t ever give up.

Passive Parents Will Answer to God for Their Own Neglect, not Their Children’s Choices—God created free will. It was His idea. At the end of the day, our children have the power to make choices that we cannot control. God holds them responsible for those choices. Eli was not responsible for his sons’ wickedness, but he was responsible for knowing about it and doing nothing. (1 Samuel 3:13)

One of the greatest motivators to awaken us out of parental slumber should be the fact that we will be held accountable for our inaction.

Wise parents see parental action as obedience to God. They discipline and nurture their children not merely to improve circumstances, control behavior, or minimize embarrassment. They do so because they themselves are obedient children of a Heavenly Father. They seek to honor God.

Last week I had a conversation with a young lady from our singles department who is experiencing a marvelous time of growth in God’s grace. Recently saved, she is literally basking in God’s goodness and soaking up all the truth and wisdom that she can. It’s wonderful to see. But over the course of our talk she expressed great disappointment in the fact that she’s so late in learning many biblical truths that her parents should have taught her. How she wishes they weren’t passive parents.

How about your kids? When they are in their late twenties will they share the same disappointment? Or will you fully engage and nurture them with God’s grace and truth? Learn the pitfalls of passive parenting from the story of Eli. Engage with fervent energy and spiritual commitment. Target your child’s heart with passionate tenacity. Engaging fully in the spiritual development of your children is nothing short of honoring God, and He responds quite favorably to that honor—“…for them that honour me I will honour…” (1 Samuel 2:30)

10 Ways to Renew Your Spirit

Cary Schmidt — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 21:24:38 +0000

Ever get depleted?

Ever reach the bottom of the barrel when it comes to spiritual energy or passion?

Don’t overreact! It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing all the wrong things with your life. You’re faith is probably still alive and well. There’s no need to go AWOL. Don’t start doubting every good decision or direction in your life.

You probably just need to restore—to let God revive your spirit. God’s Word is filled with ways to find new strength and to renew your spirit. Here is a quick glimpse at ten of them:

1. Walk with God—nothing will restore your soul like time with God. Find a place where you can have quiet and calm. No distractions, no time limits, no pre-planned structure, no agenda—just be with Him. Get outdoors and literally walk—with God. This will change your perspective on nearly everything! (Genesis 6:9)

2. Cast Your Cares Upon Him—while you’re with God, you might as well put everything you’re carrying into His hands, including yourself! He already knows about it all. You’re not hiding anything from Him. Nothing you’re feeling or thinking will surprise Him, and He invites you to cast it all upon Him—so go for it! (1 Peter 5:7)

3. Meditate on Biblical Principles—choose a passage, a promise, or a verse and just rest upon it. Chew on it slowly and let it sink deep. Find a place to jot down some reflections. What you meditate upon has much to do with your attitudes and actions. (Psalm 1:2)

4. Listen to Godly Music—whether with an iPod, a CD player, or your own voice—set aside time to really listen to Christ-honoring music. Think about the message, and let God’s Holy Spirit restore and encourage you. Music is one of God’s great gifts to help us walk in the Spirit. (Psalm 118:14)

5. Read an Encouraging Book—pick up something biblical and enjoyable—a biography of a great Christian or an inspirational book. Make sure it connects to some practical aspect of your life. (Proverbs 25:11)

6. Serve Someone Else—could be your spouse, your kids, your neighbor, a church member, or a local business owner. There’s something really refreshing about choosing to perform an act of kindness “just because.” If you’re wondering who the Holy Spirit would have you serve, just ask Him. I promise He will bring a name to your mind almost immediately. (1 Corinthians 9:19)

7. Share the Gospel with Someone—No matter what’s going on in your life, your whole perspective changes when you set the burdens aside and share the Gospel. Even if you don’t see someone saved, it’s good to know you are laboring together with God. (Ephesians 6:15)

8. Rest—sounds so unspiritual compared to the others doesn’t it? But it’s not only spiritual—it’s vital! Quite often, we just run on empty, physically speaking. Sometimes the best thing you can do is “crash”! Don’t set the alarm. Actually sleep, and don’t feel guilty about it. When you’re recharged, you’ll get three times as much done than if you had continued trying to be productive on fumes! (Psalm 127:2)

9. Spend Time with Someone You Love—your spouse, your family, a godly friend. Right relationships are energizing. They have a restoring and renewing quality. Go ahead and spend yourself for others, but be sure you carve out time to be with those who strengthen you in the Lord as well. (Proverbs 17:17)

10. Use Your Spiritual Gift(s)—take your unique personality combined with God’s Divine enabling(s) in your life, and put them to use for His purposes. Do what you’re really good at—but do it for God. This is “over-the-top” fun and eternally significant. Nothing puts fresh wind in your sails like investing your life and resources into eternity. (1 Peter 4:10)

When you’re engaging in biblical, renewing activities (like these) then it’s only a matter of time before God breathes new strength into your spiritual life. Patiently enjoy His presence as He renews your strength. (Isaiah 40:31)

What are some ways that you renew your spirit?

How to Help a Wounded Person

Cary Schmidt — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:09:59 +0000

One of the most difficult circumstances of life and ministry is to try to help someone who has been deeply hurt. These are hard moments. More than anything, you want to take away the hurt, undo the pain, and fix the problem. But it’s just not that easy. Woundedness—regardless of how it occurred—requires time and God’s grace in order to heal.

Here are a few thoughts (not exhaustive by any means) that you might be able to place in your tool box to encourage and help those who are wounded.

First—Teach through Hebrews 12. Much of life’s pain is not disciplinary in nature—but all of it is allowed of God and is intended to be used by Him to produce good in our lives (Romans 8:28). Hebrews 12 deals powerfully with how Christians should respond to wounds and chastening—by claiming God’s grace and turning away from bitterness. As I study this passage it seems that chastening can be both disciplinary and nurturing in nature. In other words, it’s not always about discipline, but it is always difficult and painful.

Second—Emphasize God’s Desire to Heal. (vs. 13) The focus of Hebrews 12 is the peaceable fruit—the outcome of grace. Help the hurting person find hope in looking forward. In time, God’s grace can work all things to our eventual profit. Satan wants the hurting to only focus on the past—the hurt. After all, it’s difficult to imagine how the abuse of another can produce something good in me! God calls His child to “lift up the hands which hang down.” He offers hope in what is yet to come by His grace.

Third—Call the Hurting to Pursue Peace with All Men. (v. 14) For God’s healing, the wounded must have a right heart toward the relationships of life—even the broken ones. This is a bit different for each situation, and forgiveness is always a journey—a process of forgiving over and over again. But one condition of God’s healing is that the hurting must have an agenda of peace not revenge or resentment.

Fourth—Teach the Hurting to Repeatedly Claim Grace. (vs. 15-16) Every hurt brings a spiritual fork in the road—one path leads to grace and the other to bitterness. This passage reveals that bitterness defiles but grace heals. And grace is a choice—a diligent decision. In other words, the default path is bitterness. The grace path must be claimed by “looking diligently”—carefully determining not to miss it.

Fifth—Emphasize the Patience Required for Recovery. (Hebrews 10:36, 12:1, and James 1:3) People often expect instant recovery. But the simple truth is—a problem that took 5 or 10 or even 20 years to create doesn’t just go away in one counseling session or even one week. The reality—God’s grace is a process born out of intimacy with Him. By God’s design, He wants the wounded to find Him and to walk personally with Him, gradually experiencing the daily renewing, restoring power of His presence. Instant healing is not conducive to intimacy. God heals as we abide.

Some years ago I gave a short list to a hurting young man and asked him to keep it and read or pray it every day as a part of his walk with God and his daily decision to claim grace. He did. And he grew! God’s healing has been evident in his life for several years now. Not long ago, he opened his wallet, pulled this little list out, and said, “Remember this?” We both smiled, and I thanked God for His awesome grace. Here’s the little list:

I’m saved
I am highly valuable, wanted and important to God
God has a great plan for my future
God will give me strength for today if I ask for it
I will honor God and my authorities today
God, please be my best friend today
God, please give me healing and grace today

Not exactly impressive. Not really rocket science. But maybe it’s a tool you can use to encourage someone else to find God’s healing through His grace! What passages or tools do you find helpful in ministering to wounded people?

(Post a comment below. And consider sharing this article with someone who could be encouraged by it.)

One Brave Little Girl!

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:42:02 +0000

For those of you who prayed for the Kehres family, a friend just emailed me this photo of Lynzie, the daughter that was the most seriously injured. As you can see, she’s doing well and God is answering prayer in a marvelous way!

Today is Lynzie’s 11th birthday! Just two days ago, she was in the ICU on a breathing tube and really unable to speak or move much. It would be hard to describe her condition in that moment. To see her smile in this photo was just “over the top” for me! I had to share it.

As my wife and I visited Lynzie in the ICU at Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles on Tuesday, we both immediately teared up, but tried not to show it. I’ll never forget those moments as we tried to encourage Lynzie and she encouraged us instead! Her spirit was indescribable—though her only way of communicating was to write short messages on blank sheets of paper.

The most touching moment was when Lynzie motioned to me after the orthopedic surgeon left the room. I moved closer, trying to discern what she was asking for. I guessed wrong twice when finally she lifted both arms into the air and put her hands together in prayer—she was asking me to pray. Again, we fought back the tears, and prayed.

What a fantastic little girl… and a fantastic Heavenly Father!! Thank you for praying for the Kehres family.

Daily in the Word Now on 450 Stations!

Cary Schmidt — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:55:22 +0000

Beginning October 1st (tomorrow), the daily radio ministry of Dr. Paul Chappell will begin airing on the CSN radio network. This means that Daily in the Word is now heard on over 450 radio stations across America and in some foreign countries. Daily in the Word is a 26 minute daily radio program featuring solid Bible teaching and preaching.

In addition, www.dailyintheword.org has also been completely redesigned and will go live on October 1. This site provides information on broadcast times and stations, as well as a link to recent broadcasts and the free podcast. If you don’t live in an area where Daily in the Word is broadcast, you can subscribe via iTunes.

Visit the new site tomorrow, subscribe to the podcast, and tell a friend about the great Bible preaching and teaching that can be heard on Daily in the Word!

The Pitfalls of Passive Parenting (Part 1)

Cary Schmidt — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:01:19 +0000

Uncovering the assumptions and behaviors of disengaged parenting

“It’s just a phase—he will grow out of it.” “That’s just what teenagers do—she’ll mature.” “All kids are this way—there’s not really anything we can do to change that.” “They have to be able to make decisions for themselves.”

These and others are the statements we make to give ourselves permission to disengage as parents. Today’s culture and the typical family tells us it’s normal for kids to:

Lock themselves up in their rooms
Avoid close relationships with parents
Have prolonged rebellion or bad attitudes
Be sexually active before marriage

Since we believe these behaviors are “normal,” we tend to disengage—to become passive parents. We essentially leave our kids to themselves to make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. Sometimes we’re tired. Sometimes we don’t really know how to deal with an issue. Sometimes career or other interests distract us. Whatever the reason, passive parenting is disastrous.

One of the best biblical illustrations of passive parenting is Eli, a priest of the Lord at Shiloh. His story is found in 1 Samuel 1-4, and the most outstanding statement about his parenting is 1 Samuel 3:13 when God said he would judge Eli’s house because he failed to “restrain” his sons.

The story is simple and powerful. Eli was an indulgent man, somewhat lazy, and rather content with status quo. He had two sons whom the Bible calls “sons of Belial”—God’s way of saying they were wicked, ungodly men. They abused the work of God and His people. They perverted themselves and others. And they were living dishonestly and publicly shaming the name of God.

Eli’s response was minimal. He talked passively with them a time or two, but took no other action. His inaction—his parental passivity—cost him and his family dearly. Let’s examine Eli’s passive parenting pitfalls and learn from his mistakes.

Passive Parents Defer Parenting and Spiritual Development to Institutions and Environments—Though Eli brought up his sons in the service of the Lord, at the house of the Lord, they grew to despise God and His truth. Mere environmental changes—like church, school, or youth group—are no guarantees that our children will live honorably. How often Christian parents place their children in healthy environments only to disengage and expect the institution to take over. This just doesn’t work.

This is especially easy to do for families serving in the ministry. After all, Eli could have rationalized “what better place to rear children than in the service of the Lord?” But neglect and passivity have disastrous consequences no matter the vocation of the parents.

Wise parents take personal responsibility to introduce their children personally to God. They fully engage in displaying a personal walk and a spiritual life, expecting healthy environments and supporting institutions to only complement what they are already teaching and modeling.

Passive Parents Excuse Their Own Sin and Their Children’s—Eli basically rationalized his own sin as well as his sons’. He didn’t want to change. He was benefitting from his sons’ dishonesty. The only reason he even talked to them about their sin was that the people complained to him, not because they dishonored God.

Sometimes we tolerate sin in our children’s lives because we don’t want to give up our own. They know it, and we know it. In so doing, we dishonor God and passively endorse our children doing the same.

Wise parents deal with their own sin first, then they humbly and sincerely lead their children to do the same. They have a zero tolerance for dishonoring God—both in themselves and their children. They don’t rationalize; they repent.

Passive Parents Avoid Confrontation and Responsibility—They see everyone else at fault—the teacher, the pastor, the youth pastor, the other kids, the church, the school, etc.; but they don’t see their own responsibility or the choices of their children at the root. Passive parents blame everyone and everything else but themselves or their own children. There’s always another place to “point the spotlight.”

Eli never really confronted his sons or took responsibility for his passivity or their sin. He never forced them to face the reality of their sin. The Bible word restrain means to weaken or dim or diminish—like putting out a light. Eli should have removed his sons from influence and diminished their ability to carry on in their ways.

Wise parents own their children’s failures. They first inspect their own hearts and ask God to expose parental failures like neglect, inconsistency, or anger. Then they help their children take personal responsibility for their actions. They don’t defend or allow their children to blame others. And they always support those who will help them biblically address problems, no matter how embarrassing a situation might be. Embarrassment is a small price to pay for the restoration of a life or the salvaging of a future.

Passive Parents Have the Truth but Don’t Apply It to the Heart—They sit in church week after week, hearing the preaching of God’s Word, but not really listening. Like pearls falling in the street, the truth is all around them, but it never penetrates the heart or impacts the lifestyle. The Word never leaves church with them. It never changes things at home.

Eli and his sons were in the ministry—surrounded by the truth on a daily basis, but it never penetrated deep into the heart. There was a huge gap between God’s truth and real life. What God said and how Eli lived were two very different things.

Wise parents always live with the ever-present reality of honoring God everywhere, all the time, in every way possible. It’s not a church thing. It’s not a Sunday thing. It’s a whole life thing. It’s a heart thing. Their Christian lives are 24/7 and living God’s way is an ever-present reality.

Stay tuned for part two of this article…

Do Social Networks Change Behavior?

Cary Schmidt — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:33:26 +0000

USAToday published an interesting article today about the impact of the internet and social networking. Here are a few of the statistics they shared:

How social-networking services affect the everyday behavior of millions of Americans:

An Ohio State University study links Facebook to lower grades. According to a survey of 219 students, published in April, those who said they use Facebook had grade-point averages of 3.0 to 3.5, and studied one to five hours a week.
Non-Facebook users had GPAs of 3.5 to 4.0 and studied 11 hours or more a week.
Nearly 80% of Facebook users said they believe it had no impact on their grades.
Corporate employees may fritter away nearly 1.5% of office productivity by using Facebook at work, according to a Nucleus Research study announced in July.
The University of Melbourne, however, says people who use the Internet for personal reasons at work are 9% more productive than those who don’t.
Fourteen states have passed measures to ban texting while driving.

Read the full article here: Real-time Web keeps social networkers connected – USATODAY.com.

Youth Ministry Idea: Developing Leaders

Cary Schmidt — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:53:21 +0000

Quick post for youth leaders (with the spirit of idea sharing) related to developing servant leaders in student ministry.

J. Oswald Sanders’ classic book Spiritual Leadership is one of the great reads on the subject. It’s worthy of revisiting on a regular basis.

The first time I read this book, I was in 8th grade, and my junior high youth pastor gave it to me, along with a personal assignment. He challenged me to read a chapter each week (not hard) and write a half-page summary of the chapter to give to him. I was challenged by his interest in me and his belief that I had potential. And so I read, and wrote, and turned in chapter summaries.

I still have those summaries, along with his hand-written responses to my thoughts. He read them, commented, and gave them back to me. I have never forgotten that simple but powerful investment into my life.

Annually, I attempt to do the same thing with our senior class. We provide the book as a gift (for those who want it) and the teens agree to read (at their own pace) and turn in the study questions. This year, for the first time, I’m actually having the students submit their studies to me via email. I read them, consider the individual, and return my comments and encouragement.

The teens really enjoy this. They all work at a separate pace, and of course, I sometimes have to remind them to work on it. But, for the small cost of the book, it’s a great investment into young lives and an easy discipleship project to work on in addition to other ministry efforts.

Do you have an idea for developing student leaders? Please share it below…