Premarital (or extra-marital) sex is always a losing proposition! God is clear that His wonderful gift of physical intimacy is to reserved for the boundaries of marriage. Inside of those boundaries, the sexual relationship is a gift that blesses a couple and a family abundantly. Outside of that biblical commitment, the sexual relationship is always destructive, empty, and sinful. God’s word for this is “fornication”—1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”
In all of my counseling, I never meet people who are glad that they have committed fornication. After the fact, there is ALWAYS regret. Here’s a short list why fornication is always a really bad idea:
1. It breaks God’s laws and dishonors Him—search a concordance for the word “fornication.” We could stop here—it’s all we really need to know.
2. It presents huge physical risk—diseases and illness are rampant among those who engage in this lifestyle.
3. It presents huge emotional risk—a physical and emotional bond without a spiritual commitment is never a winning experience.
4. It presents huge spiritual risk—grieving the Holy Spirit and offending a holy God means we forfeit God’s best. We never win by dishonoring God.
5. It is awkward, guilt ridden, unfulfilling, and not representative of God’s original intent—hence a culture that continually seeks fulfillment with new partners and relationships.
6. It is disappointing at the physical, emotional, and spiritual levels—the only physical intimacy that exceeds expectations is that founded on long-term commitment and marital growth.
7. It creates a spiritual/emotional bond without commitment—this only breeds resentment, bitterness, and the feeling of being used. It says something like this, “I don’t love you enough to commit to you, but I love me enough to use you.”
8. It destroys trust—the best way to have trust in a marriage is to stay pure before you get married. Learning to be committed to Christ (in purity) is the best way to learn to be committed to a spouse.
9. It creates resentment and frustration—it was designed to happen within a committed marriage of selfless love. Outside of that, fornication just breaks the heart and wounds the soul.
10. It leaves you empty and searching for real love—physical intimacy doesn’t create a loving, committed relationship, it’s the fruit of one.
11. It devalues the future intimacy of your marriage—intimacy is “just the two of us.” Premarital relationships destroy that before it even happens.
12. It prevents the greatest intimacy in marriage—the purest and most fulfilling marital relationship is that which is forever untouched by previous relationships. (If you have failed morally, don’t lose hope. Claim God’s grace, and begin protecting your future marriage today by abstaining from further fornication.) Jesus doesn’t shame you, but He would say, “Go and sin no more.”
13. It sets a person on a path of unfulfilling sexual experiences—fornication is a downward spiral of perpetually unfulfilling relationships.
14. It attempts to shortcut God’s plan for marriage and family—it turns God’s great gift of family and love into a cheap thrill and self-centered pleasure quest.
15. It prevents you from having the most fulfilling sexual relationship—while a person is sleeping around, they are NOT preparing for the wonderful lifetime relationship that God intended.
16. It enlarges sexual desires and makes them insatiable—thinking with your hormones allows them to become an unruly taskmaster.
17. It puts the flesh and hormones in control of your life—you are more than a chemical reaction that seeks gratification. Don’t allow your life to be directed by physical desires. Submit those desires to the Holy Spirit, and let them be fulfilled in God’s time and in God’s way.
18. It creates children without strong homes—God intends this relationship to create a family with a foundation of commitment and lifetime love.
19. It feeds the abortion industry—illicit relationship creates unwanted children which creates “the abortion industry.”
20. It cannot be done safely—no matter what culture says—safe sex is one man, one woman, committed in marriage, for the rest of their lives.
If you have never committed fornication, God has a simple message for you—DON’T. (Eph. 5:3) If you are committing fornication, God also has a simple message for you—STOP. (Acts 15:29)
God is the giver of the wonderful gift of marriage. He is the Creator of life, love, marriage, and sex. Obeying His plan is always right and always blessed.
And a life of wonderful, married intimacy is one more thing…
WELL WORTH THE WAIT!
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4 Comments
This is awesome. Thank you Bro. Schmidt.
Great article! My wife and I have a wonderful marriage and we both followed this advice. How I wish every young person could read this and make a committment to follow these principles so they could enjoy a marriage blessed by God.
Excellent article! One typo: “wonderful gift marriage” was probably meant to read “wonderful gift of marriage” … or something like that.
Thank you for this encouraging article. This is what teens and young adults need in their life. Thank you!
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