A couple times a year we host an anonymous question and answer time for teenagers. They respond well. You can read about these in past posts: Getting Teens to Air Their Questions and The Top 15 Questions Christian Teens Ask. We did this Q&A time again recently, and I was surprised how many questions were submitted about parents. Bear in mind, these were anonymous. My heart was stirred and challenged, both as a parent and a pastor, as I read these questions:
Ten Biblical Principles for Winning Your Child’s Heart
How do you discipline your children? Here are ten Biblical principles for handling discipline biblically and in a way that truly develops the heart of your child.
Discipline that develops the heart…
1. Is Controlled and Premeditated—It doesn’t fly off the handle or out of control.
Proverbs 16:32, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”
Colossians 3:21, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
Part two of an article on discerning Your Child’s Needs and Responding Biblically. You can read part one here.
We’re discussing “reading” your children—understanding and interpreting their behavior and needs in the light of biblical wisdom. In our last article we said it begins with understanding God’s Word and asking God for wisdom. Then praying with your children allows the Holy Spirit to soften the heart and connect you on a more spiritual level. From there it’s a matter of obeying God’s promptings regarding your children’s needs and responding to His leading. The fifth point was on working together with your spouse and sharing your insights. Let’s move on…
Discerning Your Child’s Needs and Responding Biblically
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Do you understand your children? Do you know how to interpret their behavior? Do you see and understand early warning signs of future problem? Do you connect their outward behavior with the condition and direction of their heart? In this article I want to challenge you to becoming a discerning parent and give some practical steps on “how.”
Are you looking for a good way to get to know your students or those to whom you minister? Here’s a quick and simple way to get a glimpse into the heart and cause someone to think more deeply.
This past week, in our 12th grade Sunday school class and at our Single Life retreat, we did a short assignment that really helped me understand where the students are in their hearts and on their spiritual journeys. It’s an easy exercise, but informative, and it causes someone to pause and take inventory spiritually.
This post is for family and friends just to share a bit of God’s blessings from our vacation. Last night we returned from a couple of weeks of great memories, rest, and unforgettable experiences, and our hearts are full for the time we were able to spend with family and friends. Here are some highlights:
The final message of Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010 was brought by Dr. Don Sisk and entitled “He Must Increase, I Must Decrease.” It was awesome! It profoundly impacted me, and I wanted to share a synopsis of it here. Perhaps it will encourage you.
Taken from the statement of John the Baptist in John 3:30, Dr. Sisk challenged us with this question: Who is growing (or increasing) in your life? A servant leader will always seek to decrease that Christ might increase. And when Christ increases, many things will reveal that increase—Dr. Sisk gave six evidences:
It’s no secret that in the past few years, George Barna and people like him have given up on the local church (the flawed model they invented) and have documented a revolution of people leaving the organized church to simply go and be the church. While there are a lot of biblical problems with this statement, that’s not the purpose of this post. I received a very encouraging email from a friend yesterday who pointed me to a blog post of one who, for a long time, was critical of the local church. The post was encouraging on a number of levels:
I can’t believe how quickly decades pass! As I write, I’m sitting on a red-eye flight, starting our 20th family vacation—our first without Lance. My mind goes back to what seems like a moment ago. I’ve been here before. It was in a hotel room in Palm Desert, California about 13 years ago—our last night of family vacation in another era. We had spent the day swimming, roller blading, mini-golfing… all the good stuff of a family vacation. The lazy day wound to a giggly close with two little boys—very little—jumping on the bed in their pjs, being tickled, and praying together. Read More
Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010 wrapped up last night. God gave us a fantastic week. Today, in the midst of decompressing, I couldn’t help but sit down and journal some of the highlights of the week for me. Here’s what God used to impact me the most:
1. The Preaching. Every single message was a grand-slam home run! Dr. Chappell, Dr. Norris, Dr. Davison, Dr. Sisk all preached with power. In my life, God most used Dr. Sisk’s message last night—He must increase and I must decrease. He concluded the message with this question: “What’s growing in your life?” He then said, “If you are getting bigger and bigger, then Jesus is getting smaller. But if you are getting smaller and smaller, then Jesus will get bigger.”
As promised, here are a few short thoughts about how to respond to your teenager after teen camp, especially in regards to their spiritual decisions.
Begin with the long-term perspective—Our view of spiritual decisions is often just too short. Every good decision of life begins with short-term challenges, but also bears long-term results at a “core-values” level. Even if a teen struggles with a decision in the few weeks after camp, that doesn’t negate the fact that a long-term value was established. The key is, encourage your teen to take the long-term view that they might not get discouraged with short-term struggles. For example, let’s say a teenager decided to start walking with God personally. We all know that teen will struggle with keeping that decision every single day. But the long-term value of walking with God has been established. If that teen can take the long view, and not get discouraged when a day or two is missed, he might still be walking with God twenty years from now. 2 Peter 3:18 says, “But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” Growth is always a long-term proposition.
Today we completed a wonderful week of teen camp. Here’s a short recap.
First, we were able to return to Pine Summit Camp in Big Bear, California. Operationally, this was the best week of camp we’ve ever had. The good team at Pine Summit served our group well with great food, tremendous facilities, and a wide array of activities and free-time options for the teens. After several bad experiences with camp facilities, we were thankful for big improvement! In addition to this, our LBC camp staff provided great games and a fun-filled week for every teen!
New Data on the Growing Distance Between Youth and Adulthood
The New York Times ran a fascinating article yesterday entitled “The Long Road to Adulthood Is Growing Even Longer” by Patricia Cohen. The article reinforces a growing body of research, much of which I wrote about in Life Quest: Braving Adulthood with Biblical Passion. The point is, the twenty and thirty-something generations are increasingly choosing to postpone the decisions and responsibilities of adult life, choosing rather to stay in a perpetual state of limbo—between youth and adulthood. They are taking longer to finished education, begin a family, and become independent.
The most interesting stats in the article were as follows: The median age for marriage is now 27 for men, 26 for women. It was 23 in 1980. Today, 40% of all births are to unwed mothers. That’s a massive shift from 28% in 1990. Parents are now spending more on their kids in their twenties than when they were teens. The average parent spends 10% of their income on their “twenty-something” children. One fourth of 25-year-old men live at home with their parents. That’s up from less than one eighth in 1970.
A New Book by Tom Farrell from Striving Together Publications.
If you are interested in growing teacher or preacher of the Word of God, you must read Preaching that Pleases God by Tom Farrell. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read on the subject, and it will challenge you to be a more faithful preacher and teacher of God’s truth.
We were privileged to enter into this project about a year ago with Dr. Farrell. Personally, I was profoundly impacted by Tom Farrell’s preaching as a teenager, and it was a great blessing to be able to help in this project. Dr. Farrell has faithfully and powerfully preached God’s Word and trained preachers throughout his ministry. He is a man with the obvious anointing of God on his life, and this book flows from a passionate heart, a skilled mind, and a fruitful life.
You can find out more or order your copy at Striving Together Publications! Thank you Dr. Farrell for a much needed challenge to return to Holy Spirit empowered Bible preaching!
Communication is about sharing information with those who need it. But often communication is what is lacking the most on ministry teams. When we don’t communicate, we aren’t working together, and that causes things to break down. Here are seven quick principles that the Lord has challenged me to work at. I pray they will encourage you to be a better communicator on your team:
Don’t Make Your Leader Pull Information—Push it His Direction—Leaders must make informed decisions, and leaders always need more information—they thrive on it. Followers don’t always understand a leader’s need for information. Good communication always gathers information and pushes it to the people who need it. For more on this, see this article: “Why Leaders Needs More Communication.”
